2 Months and Counting!!!

Whoops! I can't believe it's almost been a month since my last post. Let's just say that the only thing that stays the same in life is that everything changes! Well, today is Friday and on Sunday it will be my two month mark. This morning I stepped on the scale and weighed 240 pounds. That's 60 pounds gone!!! Today I also put on one of my size 20 pants, and they were a little loose. I was wearing a size 26 at my highest weight!!!

So, those are the good things. Now for some bad things. I had to go back on my anti-depressant. I'm taking Zoloft because it comes in a liquid form. Unfortunately, taking it is not fun. If I don't dilute it with milk or water, it burns like crazy for hours. My tongue becomes numb and I can hardly breathe. Definitely not cool, but keeping my mind stable is crucial. I'm still not being the greatest at taking my calcium. It taste so horrible, and makes me gag every time I take it, so if I take it once a day I'm pretty proud of myself. I just keep telling myself it's only 2 more months until I can swallow pills! I have also been down with a nasty chest cold which has prevented me from exercising, and that has really slowed my weight loss down. I'm going to give myself until Sunday to recuperate, but then on Monday, even if I still can't breathe, I am going to workout!

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. I have my 2 month checkup with Dr. Smith on Monday. He's an interesting guy, so we'll see how that goes... I'm still in the learning phase of this process. I'm trying to relearn how my body works now, and it can be a challenge at times. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster as the weight slows from time to time. I'm trying to stay positive and be proud of myself because this has been a lot of work!!!

The Keys to My Success!!!

I went to my nutrition class last night, and came away with a renewed energy to kick butt with this surgery. There were several other people there who had the Gastric Bypass the same day I did, and I have lost almost double what they have! It made me feel a lot better about having such a bad time last week where I only lost 1 pound. Thankfully, plateaus is one of the things that they covered last night. It shouldn't last longer than a couple weeks - let's hope!!!

I'm coming to realize that exercise is going to be the key to my success. It's going to not only help me loose the weight faster, but it actually gives me more energy and self-confidence in myself (now that I can exercise fairly vigorously without getting super nauseated). I've also been told that it will help my skin shrink better too. I'm not really too worried about that, especially at this stage, but it's always good to know.

Another secret to my success is going to be my ability to keep my body in Ketosis. When I did the Aiken's diet before I never really got very deep into Ketosis, but now I couldn't get any deeper! Bonus! Just gotta stay there!

I am really surprised at how good I am actually feeling at 1 month out. I was sure that the first 3 months were going to be hell on earth -- not that the first 2-3 weeks weren't! I've got some challenges coming up here soon... two birthday parties this week, but I shall persevere!!! I also have to get my little girl sleeping through the night because sleep is so crucial for my body to keep healing itself right now. It's time to get nasty... ;)

Soooo Hungry!!!

So, I had my 3 week follow up visit with my surgeon Dr. Smith on Monday. I was hoping for some sympathy, but what I got instead was a lecture on how food was killing me before so stop whining! When I told him how hungry I was even after I ate, he told me that the human body can live on that amount of food for years and to just think about POW victims! So, basically I'm a prisoner in my own body! Taking my supplements is still a challenge, I'm still nauseated most of the time, and I went running last night only to come home and vomit repeatedly for minutes. I have to guzzle water like crazy just to keep my stomach from growling constantly, but one of the worst things is actually smell! I feel like I'm pregnant times 20! Some smells will knock me flat on my butt. My husband bought me some roast beef last night and just smelling it made me nauseated. It is super weird, and I have no idea how long it will last...

But on the up side, I'm down 30 pounds and people are starting to notice. I don't see it yet, and I don't feel it in my clothes or anything, but it definitely gives me hope. I'm in this for the long haul, and the sooner I accept that fact, the happier I will be.

18 Days Post Op

So, I'm in an interesting place right now. My weight loss has kind of stalled at 25 pounds, so I haven't weighed myself in the last couple days because emotionally it's too traumatizing. My nausea has improved but never completely goes away. Taking my supplements is frustrating because I have to crush them all up which is disgusting and time consuming. I started work four days ago, and it actually felt good to get out of the house and be productive again. By the end of the day though, I am completely exhausted as my energy is still lacking. I'm still not in a place where I can say that I'm glad I had this surgery. I just haven't lost enough weight yet to start feeling good about myself. On the plus side though, all of my incisions have healed very nicely, and are even smaller than I thought they would be -- my hopes of being a bikini model might not be dead yet! :) I am really looking forward to getting to four weeks when I can pretty much eat anything I'd like (except for carbs and sugars, of course). My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is on Monday, so I'm hoping I'll be cleared to start lifting weights so I can really begin to exercise. Well, that's all for now. Taking one day at time and trying to envision myself 150 pounds lighter!!!

I've lost 5 of these in two weeks!!!

DAY 7 - Post Op

First off, thanks to my hubby for putting a few pictures on for me while I've been out. Secondly, DANG!!! It's day 7 after getting my Gastric Bypass, and today, I'm doing very well. But 5 or 6 days ago, this was not the case. Day 1 and 2 after surgery were HELL. And I mean HELL!!! For starters, my surgery was scheduled for 11 AM on May 17th. My husband and I got there a little before 10 AM, but I didn't go into surgery until almost 2 PM. The waiting... Sucked! Then another kink in the chain happened. The surgery was scheduled for 1 hour 15 minutes, but I was under for almost twice that. My surgeon found a nice, little fist-sized tumor on my liver, so it had to be biopsied and the results returned before they could proceed with the bypass. It was benign, so no worries there, but it made recovery twice as hard.

With the exception of feeling like I was going throw up every time I blinked, the pain wasn't too bad that first day thanks to my heavenly morphine pump. Once they took the pump away though, I've never experienced such horrifying pain. Walking was tough, but I stuck to it until I was lapping people around the hospital floor. When it came time to leave the next day; however, I couldn't go. I didn't have my pain under control and I couldn't keep my oxygen above 90 without the machine. So, I got to spend two nights at the hospital.

Some good things about my hospital stay was my visitors - sister, mom, in-laws, and my sweet little 18 month old daughter. The whole hospital scene was too much for her, and she was too scared to come to me, but just seeing her reminded me why I was doing this whole thing. My husband was also awesome. No. Beyond awesome. He stayed with me both nights with his 6'6'' frame curled up on that miserable little chair. He has been amazing. Truly amazing! And last but not least, did I mention how great the morphine pump was? =)

Some not so good things so far has been the dry-heaving. This has only happened twice luckily, and both times was when I took my medication, so I'm trying some other things to make my stomach and medicine compatible. The incision where my drain was has also been pretty tender. I can't sleep on my left side which for some reason is a huge annoyance to me right now! The absolute worst so far; however, has been the diarrhea. We were told to not expect a bowl movement for up to a few weeks, but I am having violent diarrhea up to 8 times a day! I finally got a hold of my doctor's nurse (don't get me started) and they're putting me on something to help - hopefully, because this sucks!

So, overall, this has been miserable. It really has. I'm not going to lie. I'm down almost 15 pounds this week, but it's a 15 pounds I've lost 5 times already so it doesn't have me too excited. I can't really say at this point if I'm glad I've had the surgery or not. I hate saying that, but it's true. I am being 100% faithful to the diet and the cause though, so I'm still hopeful this surgery is going to be the best thing I've ever done. Sorry, this post is so long. I should have divided it up, but I just really needed to vent. Here's to hoping!!!

Pre-Surgery Photos and Sizes

Photos taken of me the night before surgery:

Pre-Surgery Measurements:

Weight: 300 LBS

BMI: 44

Pant Size: 26

Shirt Size: 3X

Ring Size: 11

Shoe Size: 11-12

May 17, 2011 - Surgery Day!!!

It is 5-17-2011 and Kina is getting ready to go in to surgery for her gastric bypass

Waiting... waiting..... waiting...

At this point I'm a month out from my surgery, and it's killing me! I just want to just started already!!! I'm going on a little family trip this weekend, but when I get back I've decided I'm going to start the liver diet that my doctor recommended. Basically, it's just a low calorie diet that shrinks the liver and makes surgery go a little smoother. I'm also going to start my exercise program. I've decided that instead of gorging myself on food and gaining weight before the surgery, I'm going to actually loose some weight instead. Hey, that's a novel idea! =)

I would like to weigh 290 lbs on my surgery date. With my goal weight being 140 lbs, that would put my weight loss goal at an even 150 lbs. Half my weight!!! Wow, I can't even fathom that right now. I know that this surgery is going to change my life in ways I can't even imagine right now. I can't wait to get started!!!

Attending My First Support Group

I know that my last post was a downer, but I have a feeling it won't be the last either. This journey hasn't even "technically" began yet, and already it's a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I'm really excited, and then another moment I'm completely terrified!

I've been doing a lot of browsing through the online forum of my doctor's office. It's been really good to read people's success stories, but I think even more importantly I think it's been good to see people's struggles too. The last thing I want to get into my brain is that this surgery is going to be a cure-all for my weight problems. Sure, it would be great if everything goes perfect and I have no complications whatsoever, but let's be serious!!!

Last night they had a support group where my surgeon was going to be there to answer any questions, so I figured even though I haven't had the surgery yet, it would great to talk to some people who have. I bugged my mom and sister to go along with me because they, like many other people, have expressed concerns about this surgery and my health and safety. I was hoping to put their minds at ease...

I thought I was going to come away from the support group all fired up to get the surgery done, but I didn't. I didn't change my mind about having the surgery, but I think the gravity of this decision really sunk in. I wasn't surprised to hear the patients say they had difficulty swallowing, eating certain foods, or even that they still struggled with willpower; what shocked me the most was that they all seemed to suffer from some kind of emotional "trauma" - if that's the right word for it. Most of them said that they have found themselves being a lot more sharp, impatient, and just plain mean after having the surgery. When I got home I talked to my husband about it and we both agreed that dealing with emotional issues isn't something that is new to us, so knowing this might be a problem, we just have to be proactive about treating and dealing with it.

I think my mom and sister came away from the group feeling better about my decision, well, not as worried at least. I think they still think I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but becoming healthy and active is everything to me now, and I'm willing to be a little crazy in order to be happy. Being able to take care of my little girl how I want to, and having more healthy children in the future, is my biggest motivation for doing this. As I've said before, my goal is not to become a super model, or even become "bikini" worthy, I just want to be able to make my own decisions. If I want to go rock climbing, by golly I'm gonna do it! If I want to try water skiing or snow boarding, by golly I'm gonna do it! No more missing out on things because my weight says I can't!!!

The Date Has Been Set!!!

I did it. I finally setup a surgery date, and I was surprisingly calm about it. All of the concerns I had expressed in my earlier post had been addressed. No gall bladder ultrasound was required, and my surgeon waived the requirement of having to get an upper GI done. My health insurance and life insurance concerns were addressed and ended up being a non-issue, so I went ahead and did it.

Whew!!! I'm terrified, and super excited. Only 40 some-odd days to go!!!