Thankful for the Past 18 Months

Wow! I can't believe that 18 months has come and gone! It's funny how a year ago I was looking at Thanksgiving with dread and horror knowing the only thing I could eat was a little turkey and a few vegetables, and here I am now knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days and not really caring. I haven't been dreaming and obsessing about stuffing and pies, and granted, I'll be having some for sure, but only after I have a nice, long run!

I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year and a half. I'm happier and healthier than I've been in over a decade. Never would I have thought of myself as a marathon runner, but I am! How awesome is that?!?!?! With the coming of winter my workouts have changed a little. It's too dark and cold to really run during the weekdays, so I've gone back to my 5 AM workouts at the gym. Luckily I really enjoy them, and I still get some runs in on the weekends!

I have put on about 10 pounds - which I expected and planned for - so I'm still at a healthy weight and under where my surgeon wanted me at. I am gearing up for the holiday season though and being extra special careful! The 18 month mark is also a big milestone for me because I can now "physically" safely get pregnant. No, I'm not pregnant yet, and the thought of gaining weight terrifies me. But, it's nice to know that once I'm mentally ready, that my body will be ready too.

I should have taken some pictures or something, but I wanted to post something before I forgot. This Thanksgiving season I'm thankful for a life that is healthy, active, disciplined and successful!!!

Just a Little Scare...

A few weeks ago I started having what I call "attacks". Basically it was a horribly-intense, burning pain/pressure around my sternum area (where my pouch is). The pain would wrap all the way around to my back, and it hurt to even breathe sometimes. I tried to tough it out because I figured it was just bad heartburn, but it finally concerned me enough to call my surgeon. He scheduled me for a gall-bladder ultra sound at the Riverton Hospital the very next day. My husband could tell I was a little nervous, so he and my little girl came with me.

In the meantime, my surgeon had me start taking some probiotic used for ulcers. It took almost five days to the get the results back, but I stopped having the "attacks" as soon as I started taking the medication. So, I wasn't surprised when the results came back negative. More than likely it's just an ulcer. We're kind of playing it by ear, and I have an appointment with my surgeon in October if I'm still having problems. So far so good. I was not liking the idea of having to have another surgery to get my gall-bladder out, so I am very happy with the way things turned out!!!

A Pain in the Skin

Loosing over 150 pounds has been incredible, but it has it down sides too - namely, extra skin, and lots of it!!! Ninety percent of the time I throw on some cute clothes, smile at my new self in the mirror and head out of the door not thinking twice about it. But, there are times when I stare in the mirror with disgust at my shriveled-up, raisin-looking skin hanging grotesquely all over my body. This problem has come to head since I’ve been trying to find a swim suit.

I thought buying a swim suit at 150 pounds instead of 300 pounds would be a lot more fun, but if anything, it’s the complete opposite.  I was so excited to buy a new swim suit that didn’t look like an old lady that I was completely caught off guard by what happened. I selected a super cute tankini (in a size 8 and not a size 26) and headed to the dressing room only to realize that the skin around my belly hung over the bottoms completely covering them! It was horrifying and I just sat there and cried and cried.

Even when I was heavy I never let that stop me from going to the beach or water parks, but for the first time in my life I actually turned down a water park trip because I didn’t have a swimsuit. It was really devastating, and even more so because I knew that plastic surgery just wasn’t in the cards for several reasons: 1) I’m not done having kids yet. 2) I don’t have $30,000 lying around, and even if I did I couldn’t in good conscience use it for plastic surgery when I could use it for a family vacation or something – it seems selfish to me. 3) I don’t like pain. Everyone who I know who has had it done says it’s the most painful thing they’ve ever done. 4) I still tend to think that people who have plastic surgery are fake, vain and shallow. and 5) There is a big part of me that feels like I don’t deserve it. I mean – I did this to myself, so I should have to live with the consequences, right?

Anyway, there is a happy ending to this sad, sad story. I found some swim suits!!! My husband was out of town on a guy trip, so I decided to try just a few more stores. No pressure. If I found something, great. If not, I’d accept it. I went to JC Penny and gave up the whole size 8 and medium mentality, and just started trying on random suits that I liked. Some were larges or extra large or sizes 10 and 12, but I started to realize that the larger the suit, the more coverage! I guess I’m a slow one! Anyway, I finally ended up buying 3 pretty cute swim suits that made me feel a lot better about myself. I even went to the swimming pool the other day! Whew! Another dilemma diverted – well, at least for the time being! J  

Pretty in Purple! I ordered some spanx swim briefs to go under this which will hold everything in nice and tight! :)

My little girl saw me getting into my swim suit and getting my picture taken, so she had to get on her Minnie Mouse swim suit and pose with me. She's such a Cutie!



I wasn't a big fan of this one on the rack, but it's one of my favorites on!



My little girl's idea -- not mine! :)

I Be Rock'n that Goal "Date"!!!

My One Year Mark. Hip hip hooray!!!

Today is the best holiday of the year - for me! One year ago today I underwent Gastric Bypass. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done, but at 300 pounds it was my last resort. I'm now 155 pounds lighter (yes, that's more than half my body weight) and couldn't be more proud of what I've accomplished. I eat healthy and workout every single day. I would still like to loose another 10-15 pounds, but trust me, I'm not complaining about where I'm at right now.

I decided a while ago that today would be my goal "Date" because I would change my goal "Weight" almost daily - depending on how fast or slow I was loosing! I've gone from a BMI of 44 down to a 23. I think I can say I'm safely out of the "obese" zone! I've lost over 105 inches total - 24 of those being in my waist alone. I've gone from a size 26 down to a size 6. I've finished three 5Ks averaging a 9 minute mile, and yesterday morning I finished a 10 mile run. Heck, yeah!!! I am freaking awesome!!! Sorry to brag, but this has in no way, shape or form been the "easy" way out. I have worked my booty off and made sacrifices I never knew I had in me.

Loosing weight sucks. It's tough. But the end results are worth every bit of it! I'm still not sure how I'm going to celebrate this special holiday - definitely not going to Chuck-a-Rama... Anyway, wish me luck as I begin the "Maintenance Phase" - breads, potatoes and fruits, Oh, my!!! Am I nervous? Extremely! After all you know what they say, "Weight Loss is Hard, but Weight Maintenance is Harder"... But, I know I can DO it, because I've already DONE it!!! 

This is the difference between being "Obese" and "Healthy".

Don't you love how the shadows accent my flab... I mean abs!!! :) Yes, I'm still hanging on to at least 10 pounds of skin, but all I can say is thank goodness for clothes!!!

This is the first time I've tried on my size 26 pants since the surgery. I'm dreamed about this picture. I was every bit as sweet as I dreamt it would be!

 

Yup, that's Me - half the Me I used to be at least!



This is a bitter-sweet number for me. I wish it were lower. I had my heart set on 150 pounds... Curse those stupid scales!!!



My little girl wanted me to take a picture of her weight too. Kind-of weird to think that if you add another 0 to that number, that's exactly where I was a year ago. But I'm so happy to know that my little girl will grow up knowing how important it is to eat healthy and exercise. She's so cute when she grabs her little 3 pound weights and tries to workout with mommy! :)

FINAL STATS
Date	Weight	Pounds Lost	BMI	Thigh (Right)	Chest	Waist	Hips	Wrist (Right)	Forearm (Right)	Bicep (Right)	Calf (Right)	Neck	Shoulders
16-May-11	300	0	44	30	55	56	56	9	13	16	18	18	55
17-May-12	155.2	164.2	23	20.75	37	31.75	37.5	6	9.3	9.5	15	12.6	40.75

The New and Improved ME!!!

So, here it is. The post you've all been waiting for... the new, made over ME!!!

The finished project!!! New hair, makeup, clothes, shoes and jewelry!!!

I can't say enough how glad I am that I won this makeover. Not only was it incredibly fun, but I learned a lot about myself in the process. The makeover started at Victoria's Secret where I got two new bras (push-ups, of course) and very sexy! I was pleased to find out that I was still a 36D because after being triple that, I have been feeling anything but well-endowed! Then I got to go to Macey's department store (no, my sweet little niece, not the grocery store) where I had a personal shopping consultant, Eugena, pick me out a perfect, little black dress complete with a jacket and a $100 pair of shoes! Yikes!

Even though I loved the finished outcome, I also learned that even though I was trying on size 6 clothes and not size 26 clothes, I still don't LOVE shopping. I know crazy, huh? I also learned that I am not a brand-name kind of girl... aka - I'm cheap! Even when I wasn't spending my own money, I was shocked over the cost of things. Eugena kept telling me to choose quality over quantity. Hmm... she has obviously never had to stick to a budget! I also don't like getting waited on - let me get my own pair of shoes! Oh well, I guess there are worse things in life than not being a Diva, right? :)

The second part of the makeover was hair and makeup. My stylist's name was Kenzie and she was a sweetheart. She gave me a hip, new hair color and style, and even though I tend to like me better in dark hair, I actually really liked it. Plus, it's super easy maintenace which is perfect for a low-maintenance gal like myself! Seeing I haven't cut or colored my hair since my surgery, this was a much needed upgrade!!! The makeup was fun too because I learned a lot of really cool things. Now I just have to remember how to do them...

My stylist Kenzie working her magic.

The third part of the makeover was the "Reveal". Nervous? Extremely! Especially because we only found out we had to speak a few hours before the event! It turned out to be just fine though, and was even kind of fun. My old pagaent days kicked in and I actually felt very comfortable in my own skin and speaking in front of 100 people! Check out the videos!!!

What a fun night! My husband Chad even won a nice watch and a movie gift card! But, I have to mention this part too just because I always want to be honest with myself and anyone else who is going through this extremely difficult weight-loss process. After everything was over, and all that was left was me and my thoughts, all I could think of was how heavy I still looked as I browsed through the pictures and video of the evening. I had felt so pretty and special and yet all I could think of was how I needed to loose 20 more pounds!

It was a reality check to me that self-confidence, self-esteem, contentment and happiness still need to come from the inside out, and I'm obviously not there yet. I've pretty much been at the same weight now for several months, so I need to start accepting where I am at now and be happy and grateful for everything I've accomplished. I've lost over 140 pounds in under a year. I truly have worked my butt off!!! Diet and exercise really is the key to weight loss, but it is DANG hard!!! I have made so many sacrifices over the last year, and even though I still have a stomach "pouch" and enough extra skin to make my very own Frankenstein, I'm going to run, jump, hike, snowboard, dance and play with my little girl until I learn to love myself inside and out!!! Afterall, it's not about what number is on the scale, but the number of times you don't have to miss out on life because you're too heavy - and I already have dozens and dozens of those. So, I consider my weight-loss journey thus far a complete and total SUCCESS!!! Hurray for me!!!

Me with my short, shrimpy surgeon, Dr. Smith.

Me and my fellow makeover winners, Debbie and Linda. Between the 3 of us we've lost over 500 pounds!!!

Our "Makeover" Crew!!!

Had to include this picture because Charlotte was too funny. She had to be in all the pictures and would pose just like her Mommy!!!

A Birthday Makeover for Me!!!

My birthday is going to rock this year! Why? Because my surgeon's office called me this afternoon and told me I won a MAKEOVER that just happens to be on my birthday!!! I get to go shopping at Macy's, get my hair cut and colored, and get my makeup done too. In order to be considered for the makeover you had to submit a one-page essay along with before and after pictures. My entry and photos are below if you want to see them. I'm still reeling a little bit. I can't believe I actually won! On a side note, I'm running another 5K tomorrow so wish me luck. I'll be sure to post how awesome I'm going to do!!! :):):)

Celebrating Me

I’m sure I am not unlike other Weight Loss Surgery patients who have struggled with obesity their entire lives (except that maybe my birthday happens to be April 11th - hint, hint!) I had plenty of excuses – genetics, medication, depression, inactivity and, of course, FOOD, but the loosing/gaining weight loss cycle was cruel and always left me more bitter, resentful and hopeless in the end. So what was it that made me finally decide I had to stop that vicious, unforgiving cycle?

Flash back to fall of 2010, I was on an extended family vacation in Florida and we were at Busch Gardens. I was looking forward to this day more than any other on the vacation because I love, love, love roller coasters! First roller coaster – it took 3 attendants to push on the safety harness before it finally latched, but I made it. Whew! Close call! Second roller coaster – made it again, but couldn’t breathe! Third roller coaster – never made it… I was too big. I had to be asked to get off in front of my entire family. Embarrassed, mortified, hurt, angry are just a few emotions I experienced as I took my walk of shame down the exit ramp. Crumbling into a ball of tears, not caring what people thought of me, I made a vow with myself that day to do something about my weight – for good!!! I was referred to RMAP soon after I got home and my WLS journey began.

Of course there have been bumps along the road, and the journey has been excruciatingly difficult both physically and mentally, but I’d do it all over again and again to be where I’m at today. Not only am I conscience now about what I put into my body, I am more active than I have ever been my entire life. Every morning at 5:00 AM sharp, I’m at the gym running, weight lifting or doing circuit training. It was just a few weeks ago that I tried a Spin class for the first time. Long story short, the instructor came up to me after class and said, “Wow! If you wouldn't have told me it was your first time, I would have never known. I can tell you are a very active, fit person." As my eyes filled with tears, I thanked her and smiled. There is no way she could have known how much such a comment meant to me. She couldn’t have known that a little under a year ago I weighed over 300 pounds and couldn’t even have walked to the end of my street!

I feel one of the biggest lessons that I have taken from this journey is that I can choose what is best for me and my body. I ran my first 5K at the Walk From Obesity Event last October, and when my legs and lungs were telling me I couldn’t go any farther, my heart and soul were telling me that I could - and I not only finished the 5K, but finished almost 10 minutes faster than my goal! Now six months later, I’ll go outside and run 3 – 5 miles on top of my other workouts just for fun!!!

I’m so proud to say that I have taken this opportunity by storm and made every second count. I feel so empowered and love how it feels to finally be in control of my life. Dr. Smith and RMAP, I thank you, my husband thanks you, and my little girl thanks you so much for giving me my life back. Now I’m ready to show everyone on the outside how fabulous I feel on the inside. I’m in desperate need of some sprucing up, and did I mention April 11th is my birthday!!!

 

 

I know, I know I was a little shameless in pushing the whole birthday thing... but, hey, it worked, didn't it?!?! And don't worry, I'll be sure to take lots of video and pictures at the reveal and post them here. Luvs.

Staying Strong to the Finish Line!!!

I have less than 2 months left before the one year anniversary of my surgery. I have really been struggling lately with following the rules and have gotten myself into a really bad slump. The good news is that I went to my support group last night and found out that I'm not alone which always makes you feel a little better, right? The counselor came right out and asked me if I was ready to level off and start Maintenance without having reached my goal weight. I hesitated a little, I'm not going to lie, but when I really thought about it, No, I'm not going to be happy with myself for stopping so close to my goal. If I don't do it now, what are the chances I will ever do it?

So, I'm re-committing to reaching my goal weight. I'm going back to 3 small meals a day and nothing passes my lips that isn't a protein or vegetable. I'm hoping that if I stick to this plan I'll be able to be back in ketosis again in 3 - 4 days. If I keep up the exercise routine I've been doing, there isn't any reason why I shouldn't be able to get the rest of my weight off in time. So, I'm making myself accountable. On May 17th, exactly 56 days from now, I'm going to step on the scale and be at my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's going to be tough, but I'm tougher! Especially when I look at what I've been able to accomplish so far. So, wish me luck - I'm sprinting to the finish line!!!

I know this picture is kind of creepy, but it was a good visual for me to see the difference between a 250 pound woman and a 150 pound woman. I feel so bad for making my body carry around all that extra fat for so long. It's amazing all the places your body can store fat. I'm so close to being that 150 pound woman and putting that 250 pound woman far behind me! I can do it!

Words of Encouragement

This post will be quick, but I have to share a special moment - to me at least! I work out every morning at 5 AM at the gym, and this past Tuesday I decided to try something different and do Spinnning. I told the instructor it was my first time. She showed me how to use the bike and then told me not to get discouraged and that it would take 3 to 4 times for me to get comfortable with the workout. Well... I did the workout and honestly felt great - I probably could have pushed harder! The instructor came up to me after the class and said, "Wow! If you wouldn't have told me it was your first time, I would have never known. I can tell you are a very active, fit person". I had to smile a little bit because if she had only known me 9 months ago - this conversation would have gone very differently!!! My eyes are actually tearing up as I type because moments like this truly mean more to me than I can say. I have had setbacks, and I haven't been 100% perfect all the time, but I have worked so, so, so very hard to get to where I am at. I am so grateful for my life right now, and this amazing opportunity I have had to transform my life.

Surviving of the Holidays... Yikes!!!

Forgive me for I have sinned... or not updated my weight-loss blog in almost two months at least! My bad! I probably should have too because the holidays were extremely hard on me. I was surprised how much I associated Christmas with food. I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas without snuggling up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, or having some fudge or divinity. I wish I could say I a perfect angel, but it's just not true. I chewed and spit - A LOT! And even though I'd like to think I didn't actually swallow anything with sugar in it - I know it just wasn't so - especially since I only lost 5 pounds in December. Scary, huh?

The good news is that I have been a perfect angel since the new year, and the weight has started to come off again. And I'm sure it hasn't hurt that I'm been working out every morning at 5 AM with my father-in-law and brother-in-law. We do weight lifting, step aerobics, circuit training, and Zumba. I've never been so sore in my entire life... the muscle fatigue, headaches, body aches, and lack of sleep have really taken a toll on my body. Yesterday I think I hit the wall because I felt like my head had been split down the middle with an axe and I was so light-headed and dizzy that I honestly couldn't function. Thank goodness for a very supportive husband who took very good care of me. And thanks too for my awesome father-in-law and bro-in-law who have, more than once, been the only reason I got my butt out of bed some mornings.

I also had another follow-up visit with my surgeon, Dr. Smith, this past Monday. It went good, I guess. Dr. Smith told me that he doubts I'll loose a lot more weight at this point - and that is not what I wanted to hear, of course! He told me that the minimum weight he wants to see me at 150 pounds. Really? Really? I had my heart set on 130 pounds, then I could fluctuate between 130 - 140 pounds (because 140 is my "actual" goal weight) but I know that I'm bound to fluctuate at least 10 pounds here and there because of my menstrual cycle, holidays, vacations, etc. But, I guess what it will really come down to is where my weight will be in the next 4 months. That will be my 1 year mark, and I have psyched myself up so much for that mark that emotionally I don't know if I can push any further past that - no matter where my weight ends up.

I actually have had one concern lately that Dr. Smith was able to put to rest though. I have completely blacked-out several times now - like - hit the floor and been out for several seconds kind of black-outs. I even went into my primary care physicians a couple weeks ago and had some lab work done just to make sure my iron, folic acid, etc. levels were alright. They were perfect - thank goodness. But, Dr. Smith said that what is happening is that because I've lost so much weight so fast, my mind hasn't caught up yet. When I was heavier, every time I stood up, my body had to force tons of blood into my legs so I could actually move, for example. Well now, my body doesn't need that anymore, but my brain still thinks it has to push all that blood to my legs, thus depriving my brain of the blood that it needs. Hence, why I get so light-headed and dizzy all the time. He told me it could take up to a year for my body to level itself out, so just to make sure I always stand up slow and hang on to something or someone. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, I really should take more "After" pictures, but I rarely think about it. The weight that I'm loosing now just doesn't have much of a dramatic appeal on my appearance like it used to, but here are some photos taken from this Christmas compared to some taken a couple years ago. Enjoy - I sure do! :)

6 Month Anniversary - The Best One Yet!!!

Wow! It's been six months! I can hardly believe it! Sometimes it feels like it's been an eternity while at other times it feels like I just had my bypass yesterday. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I'm down another 10 pounds since last month (a total of 120 pounds), but the bad news is that the weight is coming off slower and slower, and my resolve at times is pathetic at best. I'm feeling so great that sometimes I get in the mind set that I'm happy where I'm at, and I don't need to loose anymore weight. I know I'll regret that decision in the long run though, so I'm still plugging along. Ideally I have 50 pounds left to loose, and I have 6 months left to do it. Possible? Absolutely! - if I can just get it in my head that I'm worth the sacrifice it's going to take to get there. The fact that I hardly ever get sick anymore makes it harder to resist eating more than I know I need. I really do enjoy working out when I have the time, and I'm starting to see some muscle definition in my arms and legs that I am loving! I've worked so hard for this... I CAN'T QUIT NOW!!!

Now it's time for some stats. That will make me feel better! :)

MAY 17th, 2011 (Surgery Day)	NOV 17th, 2011 (6 Months Later)
Weight: 300	Weight: 179
BMI: 44	BMI: 27
Pant Size: 26	Pant Size: 14
Shirt Size: 3X	Shirt Size: Large
Ring Size: 11	Ring Size: 9
Total Inches Lost: 66.5

How about seeing some before and after pictures?!?!

Just a little difference, no? :)

Same swimsuit...different body!!!

Despite all the bumps along the road, I truly am so happy with my progress. I love the way I feel and look in clothes, I love the way my husband looks at me now, and I love the way I can play with my little girl without getting breathless and winded. I am looking forward to what another 50 pounds gone will look like on my body, and I'm still hopeful that my skin will snap back into place. I guess only time will tell... Later!

My Life Now - 100 Pounds Lighter!!!

So, this post is a week and a half later than I was hoping, but today I got on the scale and weighed 200 pounds! That's 100 pounds gone!!! Wow. I can't believe how much being 100 pounds lighter has changed my life. This last plateau was really rough on me because I was so, so close to that 100 pound mark, but slowly, very slowly it finally came off.

I love how much more active I am now. Last night I ran 4 miles in under an hour - it darn near killed me - but I did it! I'm even loving the little things though like being able to get up and dance with my little girl, mowing the lawn, or even being able to clean the bathroom without working up a sweat! I also am tempted very little when it comes to sweets. I can say "No"  to a donut and not think about it again. It's great. I still get cravings - what I wouldn't give for a warm roll or a baked potato - and I am guilty of licking ranch Doritos from time to time, but overall I feel like I am finally in control of my life!

I am running my first 5K in a few weeks, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I'm afraid I'm going to come in last place and embarrass myself... I guess we'll just have to see, huh? :) I still have 75 pounds to loose, but I have 8 months to do it in, so here's to hoping!!! In the meantime I'm going to enjoy being a size 16 instead of a 26, and do a little dance every time I get on the scale. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get to this point - especially my Mommers who is my biggest supporter of all!!!

Just a Little Setback, Right?

So... I have some spare time on my hands here at work so I thought I'd share a little minor disappointment. I gained weight for the first time since my surgery. :( Yeah, it was a huge bummer, but I'm trying to stay positive because I am still loosing inches. Plus, I have been really focusing on weight lifting, so there is a good possibility it could be muscle weight. I'm hopeful. Basically, I have 15 days to loose 10 pounds to reach my goal weight loss of 100 pounds on my 4 month mark. Is is possible? Sure, I've lost that much and more before, but with this weight gain thing going on???

A good experience that I just had was that I was browsing through FB the other day and saw some pre-surgery pictures of myself, and WOW!!! - I could sure tell a difference. It makes me wonder just how much I need to, or even want to, loose. The whole catalyst for getting WLS in the first place was so that I could have a healthier pregnancy, and with my little girl coming up on 2 years old, the thought has definitely crossed my mind. But, I'm just thinking out loud now. Hopefully my next post will super awesome because I'll be down 100 pounds at 4 months. Wish me luck!!!

3 Months - 80 Pounds!!!

I actually enjoyed weighing myself lately! Two days ago was my 3 month mark and I am down 80 pounds! How cool is that?!?! My goal is to loose another 20 pounds this month. I've gone from a size 26 pant to a size 18. Not too shabby!

I am going through some pretty rough times right now, so I have found myself wanting to turn to food for comfort, and yes, I have given in and either eaten more than my 2 ounces or done a little grazing after my meal at nights. Luckily, I've stayed in Ketosis so the weight has still been coming off. I also need to step up the exercising too because if I don't work out in the mornings, I tend to not work out at all. I have some great excuses, but when it comes down to it, there are no good excuses...

Getting a Gastric Bypass has been quite the adventure. It truly has been a roller coaster. So far it has been worth it, but I went camping last weekend and it was so hard not to just slip back into one of the fun parts of camping - eating!!! I do worry a lot about when this first 24 months is over and I can really start eating again. I am working really hard on making this a lifestyle change, so that the good eating habits and the exercising will always be a part of my life.

2 Months and Counting!!!

Whoops! I can't believe it's almost been a month since my last post. Let's just say that the only thing that stays the same in life is that everything changes! Well, today is Friday and on Sunday it will be my two month mark. This morning I stepped on the scale and weighed 240 pounds. That's 60 pounds gone!!! Today I also put on one of my size 20 pants, and they were a little loose. I was wearing a size 26 at my highest weight!!!

So, those are the good things. Now for some bad things. I had to go back on my anti-depressant. I'm taking Zoloft because it comes in a liquid form. Unfortunately, taking it is not fun. If I don't dilute it with milk or water, it burns like crazy for hours. My tongue becomes numb and I can hardly breathe. Definitely not cool, but keeping my mind stable is crucial. I'm still not being the greatest at taking my calcium. It taste so horrible, and makes me gag every time I take it, so if I take it once a day I'm pretty proud of myself. I just keep telling myself it's only 2 more months until I can swallow pills! I have also been down with a nasty chest cold which has prevented me from exercising, and that has really slowed my weight loss down. I'm going to give myself until Sunday to recuperate, but then on Monday, even if I still can't breathe, I am going to workout!

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. I have my 2 month checkup with Dr. Smith on Monday. He's an interesting guy, so we'll see how that goes... I'm still in the learning phase of this process. I'm trying to relearn how my body works now, and it can be a challenge at times. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster as the weight slows from time to time. I'm trying to stay positive and be proud of myself because this has been a lot of work!!!

The Keys to My Success!!!

I went to my nutrition class last night, and came away with a renewed energy to kick butt with this surgery. There were several other people there who had the Gastric Bypass the same day I did, and I have lost almost double what they have! It made me feel a lot better about having such a bad time last week where I only lost 1 pound. Thankfully, plateaus is one of the things that they covered last night. It shouldn't last longer than a couple weeks - let's hope!!!

I'm coming to realize that exercise is going to be the key to my success. It's going to not only help me loose the weight faster, but it actually gives me more energy and self-confidence in myself (now that I can exercise fairly vigorously without getting super nauseated). I've also been told that it will help my skin shrink better too. I'm not really too worried about that, especially at this stage, but it's always good to know.

Another secret to my success is going to be my ability to keep my body in Ketosis. When I did the Aiken's diet before I never really got very deep into Ketosis, but now I couldn't get any deeper! Bonus! Just gotta stay there!

I am really surprised at how good I am actually feeling at 1 month out. I was sure that the first 3 months were going to be hell on earth -- not that the first 2-3 weeks weren't! I've got some challenges coming up here soon... two birthday parties this week, but I shall persevere!!! I also have to get my little girl sleeping through the night because sleep is so crucial for my body to keep healing itself right now. It's time to get nasty... ;)

Soooo Hungry!!!

So, I had my 3 week follow up visit with my surgeon Dr. Smith on Monday. I was hoping for some sympathy, but what I got instead was a lecture on how food was killing me before so stop whining! When I told him how hungry I was even after I ate, he told me that the human body can live on that amount of food for years and to just think about POW victims! So, basically I'm a prisoner in my own body! Taking my supplements is still a challenge, I'm still nauseated most of the time, and I went running last night only to come home and vomit repeatedly for minutes. I have to guzzle water like crazy just to keep my stomach from growling constantly, but one of the worst things is actually smell! I feel like I'm pregnant times 20! Some smells will knock me flat on my butt. My husband bought me some roast beef last night and just smelling it made me nauseated. It is super weird, and I have no idea how long it will last...

But on the up side, I'm down 30 pounds and people are starting to notice. I don't see it yet, and I don't feel it in my clothes or anything, but it definitely gives me hope. I'm in this for the long haul, and the sooner I accept that fact, the happier I will be.

18 Days Post Op

So, I'm in an interesting place right now. My weight loss has kind of stalled at 25 pounds, so I haven't weighed myself in the last couple days because emotionally it's too traumatizing. My nausea has improved but never completely goes away. Taking my supplements is frustrating because I have to crush them all up which is disgusting and time consuming. I started work four days ago, and it actually felt good to get out of the house and be productive again. By the end of the day though, I am completely exhausted as my energy is still lacking. I'm still not in a place where I can say that I'm glad I had this surgery. I just haven't lost enough weight yet to start feeling good about myself. On the plus side though, all of my incisions have healed very nicely, and are even smaller than I thought they would be -- my hopes of being a bikini model might not be dead yet! :) I am really looking forward to getting to four weeks when I can pretty much eat anything I'd like (except for carbs and sugars, of course). My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is on Monday, so I'm hoping I'll be cleared to start lifting weights so I can really begin to exercise. Well, that's all for now. Taking one day at time and trying to envision myself 150 pounds lighter!!!

I've lost 5 of these in two weeks!!!

DAY 7 - Post Op

First off, thanks to my hubby for putting a few pictures on for me while I've been out. Secondly, DANG!!! It's day 7 after getting my Gastric Bypass, and today, I'm doing very well. But 5 or 6 days ago, this was not the case. Day 1 and 2 after surgery were HELL. And I mean HELL!!! For starters, my surgery was scheduled for 11 AM on May 17th. My husband and I got there a little before 10 AM, but I didn't go into surgery until almost 2 PM. The waiting... Sucked! Then another kink in the chain happened. The surgery was scheduled for 1 hour 15 minutes, but I was under for almost twice that. My surgeon found a nice, little fist-sized tumor on my liver, so it had to be biopsied and the results returned before they could proceed with the bypass. It was benign, so no worries there, but it made recovery twice as hard.

With the exception of feeling like I was going throw up every time I blinked, the pain wasn't too bad that first day thanks to my heavenly morphine pump. Once they took the pump away though, I've never experienced such horrifying pain. Walking was tough, but I stuck to it until I was lapping people around the hospital floor. When it came time to leave the next day; however, I couldn't go. I didn't have my pain under control and I couldn't keep my oxygen above 90 without the machine. So, I got to spend two nights at the hospital.

Some good things about my hospital stay was my visitors - sister, mom, in-laws, and my sweet little 18 month old daughter. The whole hospital scene was too much for her, and she was too scared to come to me, but just seeing her reminded me why I was doing this whole thing. My husband was also awesome. No. Beyond awesome. He stayed with me both nights with his 6'6'' frame curled up on that miserable little chair. He has been amazing. Truly amazing! And last but not least, did I mention how great the morphine pump was? =)

Some not so good things so far has been the dry-heaving. This has only happened twice luckily, and both times was when I took my medication, so I'm trying some other things to make my stomach and medicine compatible. The incision where my drain was has also been pretty tender. I can't sleep on my left side which for some reason is a huge annoyance to me right now! The absolute worst so far; however, has been the diarrhea. We were told to not expect a bowl movement for up to a few weeks, but I am having violent diarrhea up to 8 times a day! I finally got a hold of my doctor's nurse (don't get me started) and they're putting me on something to help - hopefully, because this sucks!

So, overall, this has been miserable. It really has. I'm not going to lie. I'm down almost 15 pounds this week, but it's a 15 pounds I've lost 5 times already so it doesn't have me too excited. I can't really say at this point if I'm glad I've had the surgery or not. I hate saying that, but it's true. I am being 100% faithful to the diet and the cause though, so I'm still hopeful this surgery is going to be the best thing I've ever done. Sorry, this post is so long. I should have divided it up, but I just really needed to vent. Here's to hoping!!!

Pre-Surgery Photos and Sizes

Photos taken of me the night before surgery:

Pre-Surgery Measurements:

Weight: 300 LBS

BMI: 44

Pant Size: 26

Shirt Size: 3X

Ring Size: 11

Shoe Size: 11-12