Surviving of the Holidays... Yikes!!!

Forgive me for I have sinned... or not updated my weight-loss blog in almost two months at least! My bad! I probably should have too because the holidays were extremely hard on me. I was surprised how much I associated Christmas with food. I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas without snuggling up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, or having some fudge or divinity. I wish I could say I a perfect angel, but it's just not true. I chewed and spit - A LOT! And even though I'd like to think I didn't actually swallow anything with sugar in it - I know it just wasn't so - especially since I only lost 5 pounds in December. Scary, huh?

The good news is that I have been a perfect angel since the new year, and the weight has started to come off again. And I'm sure it hasn't hurt that I'm been working out every morning at 5 AM with my father-in-law and brother-in-law. We do weight lifting, step aerobics, circuit training, and Zumba. I've never been so sore in my entire life... the muscle fatigue, headaches, body aches, and lack of sleep have really taken a toll on my body. Yesterday I think I hit the wall because I felt like my head had been split down the middle with an axe and I was so light-headed and dizzy that I honestly couldn't function. Thank goodness for a very supportive husband who took very good care of me. And thanks too for my awesome father-in-law and bro-in-law who have, more than once, been the only reason I got my butt out of bed some mornings.

I also had another follow-up visit with my surgeon, Dr. Smith, this past Monday. It went good, I guess. Dr. Smith told me that he doubts I'll loose a lot more weight at this point - and that is not what I wanted to hear, of course! He told me that the minimum weight he wants to see me at 150 pounds. Really? Really? I had my heart set on 130 pounds, then I could fluctuate between 130 - 140 pounds (because 140 is my "actual" goal weight) but I know that I'm bound to fluctuate at least 10 pounds here and there because of my menstrual cycle, holidays, vacations, etc. But, I guess what it will really come down to is where my weight will be in the next 4 months. That will be my 1 year mark, and I have psyched myself up so much for that mark that emotionally I don't know if I can push any further past that - no matter where my weight ends up.

I actually have had one concern lately that Dr. Smith was able to put to rest though. I have completely blacked-out several times now - like - hit the floor and been out for several seconds kind of black-outs. I even went into my primary care physicians a couple weeks ago and had some lab work done just to make sure my iron, folic acid, etc. levels were alright. They were perfect - thank goodness. But, Dr. Smith said that what is happening is that because I've lost so much weight so fast, my mind hasn't caught up yet. When I was heavier, every time I stood up, my body had to force tons of blood into my legs so I could actually move, for example. Well now, my body doesn't need that anymore, but my brain still thinks it has to push all that blood to my legs, thus depriving my brain of the blood that it needs. Hence, why I get so light-headed and dizzy all the time. He told me it could take up to a year for my body to level itself out, so just to make sure I always stand up slow and hang on to something or someone. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, I really should take more "After" pictures, but I rarely think about it. The weight that I'm loosing now just doesn't have much of a dramatic appeal on my appearance like it used to, but here are some photos taken from this Christmas compared to some taken a couple years ago. Enjoy - I sure do! :)

6 Month Anniversary - The Best One Yet!!!

Wow! It's been six months! I can hardly believe it! Sometimes it feels like it's been an eternity while at other times it feels like I just had my bypass yesterday. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I'm down another 10 pounds since last month (a total of 120 pounds), but the bad news is that the weight is coming off slower and slower, and my resolve at times is pathetic at best. I'm feeling so great that sometimes I get in the mind set that I'm happy where I'm at, and I don't need to loose anymore weight. I know I'll regret that decision in the long run though, so I'm still plugging along. Ideally I have 50 pounds left to loose, and I have 6 months left to do it. Possible? Absolutely! - if I can just get it in my head that I'm worth the sacrifice it's going to take to get there. The fact that I hardly ever get sick anymore makes it harder to resist eating more than I know I need. I really do enjoy working out when I have the time, and I'm starting to see some muscle definition in my arms and legs that I am loving! I've worked so hard for this... I CAN'T QUIT NOW!!!

Now it's time for some stats. That will make me feel better! :)

MAY 17th, 2011 (Surgery Day)	NOV 17th, 2011 (6 Months Later)
Weight: 300	Weight: 179
BMI: 44	BMI: 27
Pant Size: 26	Pant Size: 14
Shirt Size: 3X	Shirt Size: Large
Ring Size: 11	Ring Size: 9
Total Inches Lost: 66.5

How about seeing some before and after pictures?!?!

Just a little difference, no? :)

Same swimsuit...different body!!!

Despite all the bumps along the road, I truly am so happy with my progress. I love the way I feel and look in clothes, I love the way my husband looks at me now, and I love the way I can play with my little girl without getting breathless and winded. I am looking forward to what another 50 pounds gone will look like on my body, and I'm still hopeful that my skin will snap back into place. I guess only time will tell... Later!

5 Months = 5K!!!

Me happy and pumped before the race. My husband said it was cheating to get my picture at the Finish Line before I finished, but I knew I wouldn't get a chance later!

Me and my favorite little Munchkin. She got up super early to cheer on her Mama!

So, today was a cause for Celebration! Not only am I five months out post-surgery and down 110 pounds, but today I ran my first 5K. I've been training for several months now, and it paid off because I did great and felt fantastic! My goal was to just finish the race in 45 minutes, but I crossed the Finish Line at 36:29!!! Whew, what a relief - I didn't come in last! In fact, I finished 4th in my division. Just a spot short of getting a medal :(

I still feel like a winner though because this is a huge accomplishment for me. Five months ago I couldn't have walked a 5K let alone run the whole thing and still finish smiling! While I was training and miserable, I kept telling myself that this would be my first and last race, but now.... you could probably talk me into it!!! :) I'm definitely not a "typical" runner and I doubt I'll ever run a race longer than this (I just love my knees too much) but at least now I can say I am a "competitive" runner! ;)



And I'm off! Just another face in the crowd, but it was very personal accomplishment!



Me coming up the last stretch on the Jordan River Parkway. It was actually a very pretty run.

Kicking it into high gear for the last 100 yards! Go me!

Feeling really good now. Just passed my family with my little girl yelling, "Go, go, go"!!!

Just seconds before I crossed the Finish Line. Yahooooo!!!

I finished!!! Big hugs from my super-awesome sister, Brandi, who came to support me so early in the morning!

Yup, me and my cleavage! We made it together! Or should I say I made it in despite of my cleavage!!! :D

Two thumbs up for me!!! Yiiiiipppppeeeee!!!

My Life Now - 100 Pounds Lighter!!!

So, this post is a week and a half later than I was hoping, but today I got on the scale and weighed 200 pounds! That's 100 pounds gone!!! Wow. I can't believe how much being 100 pounds lighter has changed my life. This last plateau was really rough on me because I was so, so close to that 100 pound mark, but slowly, very slowly it finally came off.

I love how much more active I am now. Last night I ran 4 miles in under an hour - it darn near killed me - but I did it! I'm even loving the little things though like being able to get up and dance with my little girl, mowing the lawn, or even being able to clean the bathroom without working up a sweat! I also am tempted very little when it comes to sweets. I can say "No"  to a donut and not think about it again. It's great. I still get cravings - what I wouldn't give for a warm roll or a baked potato - and I am guilty of licking ranch Doritos from time to time, but overall I feel like I am finally in control of my life!

I am running my first 5K in a few weeks, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I'm afraid I'm going to come in last place and embarrass myself... I guess we'll just have to see, huh? :) I still have 75 pounds to loose, but I have 8 months to do it in, so here's to hoping!!! In the meantime I'm going to enjoy being a size 16 instead of a 26, and do a little dance every time I get on the scale. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get to this point - especially my Mommers who is my biggest supporter of all!!!

Just a Little Setback, Right?

So... I have some spare time on my hands here at work so I thought I'd share a little minor disappointment. I gained weight for the first time since my surgery. :( Yeah, it was a huge bummer, but I'm trying to stay positive because I am still loosing inches. Plus, I have been really focusing on weight lifting, so there is a good possibility it could be muscle weight. I'm hopeful. Basically, I have 15 days to loose 10 pounds to reach my goal weight loss of 100 pounds on my 4 month mark. Is is possible? Sure, I've lost that much and more before, but with this weight gain thing going on???

A good experience that I just had was that I was browsing through FB the other day and saw some pre-surgery pictures of myself, and WOW!!! - I could sure tell a difference. It makes me wonder just how much I need to, or even want to, loose. The whole catalyst for getting WLS in the first place was so that I could have a healthier pregnancy, and with my little girl coming up on 2 years old, the thought has definitely crossed my mind. But, I'm just thinking out loud now. Hopefully my next post will super awesome because I'll be down 100 pounds at 4 months. Wish me luck!!!

3 Months - 80 Pounds!!!

I actually enjoyed weighing myself lately! Two days ago was my 3 month mark and I am down 80 pounds! How cool is that?!?! My goal is to loose another 20 pounds this month. I've gone from a size 26 pant to a size 18. Not too shabby!

I am going through some pretty rough times right now, so I have found myself wanting to turn to food for comfort, and yes, I have given in and either eaten more than my 2 ounces or done a little grazing after my meal at nights. Luckily, I've stayed in Ketosis so the weight has still been coming off. I also need to step up the exercising too because if I don't work out in the mornings, I tend to not work out at all. I have some great excuses, but when it comes down to it, there are no good excuses...

Getting a Gastric Bypass has been quite the adventure. It truly has been a roller coaster. So far it has been worth it, but I went camping last weekend and it was so hard not to just slip back into one of the fun parts of camping - eating!!! I do worry a lot about when this first 24 months is over and I can really start eating again. I am working really hard on making this a lifestyle change, so that the good eating habits and the exercising will always be a part of my life.

2 Months and Counting!!!

Whoops! I can't believe it's almost been a month since my last post. Let's just say that the only thing that stays the same in life is that everything changes! Well, today is Friday and on Sunday it will be my two month mark. This morning I stepped on the scale and weighed 240 pounds. That's 60 pounds gone!!! Today I also put on one of my size 20 pants, and they were a little loose. I was wearing a size 26 at my highest weight!!!

So, those are the good things. Now for some bad things. I had to go back on my anti-depressant. I'm taking Zoloft because it comes in a liquid form. Unfortunately, taking it is not fun. If I don't dilute it with milk or water, it burns like crazy for hours. My tongue becomes numb and I can hardly breathe. Definitely not cool, but keeping my mind stable is crucial. I'm still not being the greatest at taking my calcium. It taste so horrible, and makes me gag every time I take it, so if I take it once a day I'm pretty proud of myself. I just keep telling myself it's only 2 more months until I can swallow pills! I have also been down with a nasty chest cold which has prevented me from exercising, and that has really slowed my weight loss down. I'm going to give myself until Sunday to recuperate, but then on Monday, even if I still can't breathe, I am going to workout!

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. I have my 2 month checkup with Dr. Smith on Monday. He's an interesting guy, so we'll see how that goes... I'm still in the learning phase of this process. I'm trying to relearn how my body works now, and it can be a challenge at times. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster as the weight slows from time to time. I'm trying to stay positive and be proud of myself because this has been a lot of work!!!

The Keys to My Success!!!

I went to my nutrition class last night, and came away with a renewed energy to kick butt with this surgery. There were several other people there who had the Gastric Bypass the same day I did, and I have lost almost double what they have! It made me feel a lot better about having such a bad time last week where I only lost 1 pound. Thankfully, plateaus is one of the things that they covered last night. It shouldn't last longer than a couple weeks - let's hope!!!

I'm coming to realize that exercise is going to be the key to my success. It's going to not only help me loose the weight faster, but it actually gives me more energy and self-confidence in myself (now that I can exercise fairly vigorously without getting super nauseated). I've also been told that it will help my skin shrink better too. I'm not really too worried about that, especially at this stage, but it's always good to know.

Another secret to my success is going to be my ability to keep my body in Ketosis. When I did the Aiken's diet before I never really got very deep into Ketosis, but now I couldn't get any deeper! Bonus! Just gotta stay there!

I am really surprised at how good I am actually feeling at 1 month out. I was sure that the first 3 months were going to be hell on earth -- not that the first 2-3 weeks weren't! I've got some challenges coming up here soon... two birthday parties this week, but I shall persevere!!! I also have to get my little girl sleeping through the night because sleep is so crucial for my body to keep healing itself right now. It's time to get nasty... ;)

Soooo Hungry!!!

So, I had my 3 week follow up visit with my surgeon Dr. Smith on Monday. I was hoping for some sympathy, but what I got instead was a lecture on how food was killing me before so stop whining! When I told him how hungry I was even after I ate, he told me that the human body can live on that amount of food for years and to just think about POW victims! So, basically I'm a prisoner in my own body! Taking my supplements is still a challenge, I'm still nauseated most of the time, and I went running last night only to come home and vomit repeatedly for minutes. I have to guzzle water like crazy just to keep my stomach from growling constantly, but one of the worst things is actually smell! I feel like I'm pregnant times 20! Some smells will knock me flat on my butt. My husband bought me some roast beef last night and just smelling it made me nauseated. It is super weird, and I have no idea how long it will last...

But on the up side, I'm down 30 pounds and people are starting to notice. I don't see it yet, and I don't feel it in my clothes or anything, but it definitely gives me hope. I'm in this for the long haul, and the sooner I accept that fact, the happier I will be.

18 Days Post Op

So, I'm in an interesting place right now. My weight loss has kind of stalled at 25 pounds, so I haven't weighed myself in the last couple days because emotionally it's too traumatizing. My nausea has improved but never completely goes away. Taking my supplements is frustrating because I have to crush them all up which is disgusting and time consuming. I started work four days ago, and it actually felt good to get out of the house and be productive again. By the end of the day though, I am completely exhausted as my energy is still lacking. I'm still not in a place where I can say that I'm glad I had this surgery. I just haven't lost enough weight yet to start feeling good about myself. On the plus side though, all of my incisions have healed very nicely, and are even smaller than I thought they would be -- my hopes of being a bikini model might not be dead yet! :) I am really looking forward to getting to four weeks when I can pretty much eat anything I'd like (except for carbs and sugars, of course). My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is on Monday, so I'm hoping I'll be cleared to start lifting weights so I can really begin to exercise. Well, that's all for now. Taking one day at time and trying to envision myself 150 pounds lighter!!!

I've lost 5 of these in two weeks!!!