Thankful for the Past 18 Months

Wow! I can't believe that 18 months has come and gone! It's funny how a year ago I was looking at Thanksgiving with dread and horror knowing the only thing I could eat was a little turkey and a few vegetables, and here I am now knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days and not really caring. I haven't been dreaming and obsessing about stuffing and pies, and granted, I'll be having some for sure, but only after I have a nice, long run!

I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year and a half. I'm happier and healthier than I've been in over a decade. Never would I have thought of myself as a marathon runner, but I am! How awesome is that?!?!?! With the coming of winter my workouts have changed a little. It's too dark and cold to really run during the weekdays, so I've gone back to my 5 AM workouts at the gym. Luckily I really enjoy them, and I still get some runs in on the weekends!

I have put on about 10 pounds - which I expected and planned for - so I'm still at a healthy weight and under where my surgeon wanted me at. I am gearing up for the holiday season though and being extra special careful! The 18 month mark is also a big milestone for me because I can now "physically" safely get pregnant. No, I'm not pregnant yet, and the thought of gaining weight terrifies me. But, it's nice to know that once I'm mentally ready, that my body will be ready too.

I should have taken some pictures or something, but I wanted to post something before I forgot. This Thanksgiving season I'm thankful for a life that is healthy, active, disciplined and successful!!!

Halloween Half Marathon - 2012



Me, happy and smiling at the end of my marathon.

I didn't keep it a secret that my first half marathon, although rewarding, was anything but fun! It was grueling and torture. So, like an idiot I signed up to run the Provo Halloween Half Marathon on October 27th knowing I didn't have enough time to properly train, knowing that I was a few pounds heavier, and knowing that it was going to be brutally cold!!! And, I'm totally glad that I did!!!

I got to run with this guy... ooooh, creepy!



I can honestly say that I had a really fun time running 13.1 miles. Yes, it was cold. Yes, my feet and knees hurt. Yes, three days later my muscles are still sore. But, I kicked butt! I actually ran it a minute slower than my first marathon (although my pace was actually 15 seconds faster....) but I finished strong and had enough energy to sprint to the finish line. I was passing people right and left and even finished in the wave ahead of the one I started in. I couldn't be happier and it was great way to end the running season because I'm already looking forward to the next one.



The race began at Sundance and ended at this park. It was mostly downhill with a few bumps to keep it challenging. Perfect!



I'm going to try to still run a few days a week during the winter, but since it's pitch black in the morning and in the evening, and I work during the day, it's really not safe to be running. So, I'm going back to my 5 AM workouts at the gym. At least the gym is heated! :) I'm really not sure what my running goals will be next season, but I figure I have the whole winter to think about it!

  

Just a Little Scare...

A few weeks ago I started having what I call "attacks". Basically it was a horribly-intense, burning pain/pressure around my sternum area (where my pouch is). The pain would wrap all the way around to my back, and it hurt to even breathe sometimes. I tried to tough it out because I figured it was just bad heartburn, but it finally concerned me enough to call my surgeon. He scheduled me for a gall-bladder ultra sound at the Riverton Hospital the very next day. My husband could tell I was a little nervous, so he and my little girl came with me.

In the meantime, my surgeon had me start taking some probiotic used for ulcers. It took almost five days to the get the results back, but I stopped having the "attacks" as soon as I started taking the medication. So, I wasn't surprised when the results came back negative. More than likely it's just an ulcer. We're kind of playing it by ear, and I have an appointment with my surgeon in October if I'm still having problems. So far so good. I was not liking the idea of having to have another surgery to get my gall-bladder out, so I am very happy with the way things turned out!!!

Running a Half-Marathon - Check!!!

I did it!!! I finished my very first half-marathon. And, Wow! What an experience it was! Honestly, it was miserable. Absolutely miserable. The race was described as being "a fun and fast course" and I totally call BS on that one! It was uphill almost the entire time. It wasn't really steep, it was just a constant upgrade. It was tough. Really tough. In fact when I ran across the finish line everything was pretty much a blur. I remember seeing my family there, but all I could think about was that I couldn't stop walking. I honestly felt if I stopped I would have dropped right there and wouldn't have been able to get back up. I was nauseated and exhausted beyond all description. So much so I didn't even get any pictures which makes me sad now, but at the time I didn't care. I was just thankful to be alive!

Even though the course was tough, I still finished with a 10.24 minute mile, and I ran the entire thing!!! The last three miles were brutal, and a lot of runners just gave up (I've never seen DFNs in any of my races before), but I kept on running and every runner I passed gave me a little boost of energy. Can I say it was fun??? Mmmm.... not really, but I can say now that I'm glad I did it. It really was worth all the months of training, the 5 AM runs, the injuries, the ice baths, the limping, the shear PAIN!!! Do I want to run another one? Absolutely! And here are my reasons why...

Why Run a Half-Marathon???

1. You get to become part of something larger than yourself. You become a member of the "Marathon" family.
2. You get to be a part of something that is inspiring and challenging. You push your body beyond its physical and mental limits and finish in spite of that fact.
3. You get to blow past people on the course who didn't train as hard or as long as you.
3. You get a cool medal and tech shirt to show off to friends and family proving that you did it.
4. It forces you to get off your butt and get outside and run!
5. You get to know your neighborhood really, really, really well.
6. You set a good example for your children (and husband) about the importance of being active and healthy.
7. It's a goal you can set for yourself and actually accomplish. It makes me proud of me!!!
8. You get toned, sexy legs!
9. You get to see a lot of sunrises.
10. I want to do it because I CAN do it! I spent years and years abusing and taking my body for granted, and it feels fantastic to be able use my body in a way that it was designed to be used!

A Pain in the Skin

Loosing over 150 pounds has been incredible, but it has it down sides too - namely, extra skin, and lots of it!!! Ninety percent of the time I throw on some cute clothes, smile at my new self in the mirror and head out of the door not thinking twice about it. But, there are times when I stare in the mirror with disgust at my shriveled-up, raisin-looking skin hanging grotesquely all over my body. This problem has come to head since I’ve been trying to find a swim suit.

I thought buying a swim suit at 150 pounds instead of 300 pounds would be a lot more fun, but if anything, it’s the complete opposite.  I was so excited to buy a new swim suit that didn’t look like an old lady that I was completely caught off guard by what happened. I selected a super cute tankini (in a size 8 and not a size 26) and headed to the dressing room only to realize that the skin around my belly hung over the bottoms completely covering them! It was horrifying and I just sat there and cried and cried.

Even when I was heavy I never let that stop me from going to the beach or water parks, but for the first time in my life I actually turned down a water park trip because I didn’t have a swimsuit. It was really devastating, and even more so because I knew that plastic surgery just wasn’t in the cards for several reasons: 1) I’m not done having kids yet. 2) I don’t have $30,000 lying around, and even if I did I couldn’t in good conscience use it for plastic surgery when I could use it for a family vacation or something – it seems selfish to me. 3) I don’t like pain. Everyone who I know who has had it done says it’s the most painful thing they’ve ever done. 4) I still tend to think that people who have plastic surgery are fake, vain and shallow. and 5) There is a big part of me that feels like I don’t deserve it. I mean – I did this to myself, so I should have to live with the consequences, right?

Anyway, there is a happy ending to this sad, sad story. I found some swim suits!!! My husband was out of town on a guy trip, so I decided to try just a few more stores. No pressure. If I found something, great. If not, I’d accept it. I went to JC Penny and gave up the whole size 8 and medium mentality, and just started trying on random suits that I liked. Some were larges or extra large or sizes 10 and 12, but I started to realize that the larger the suit, the more coverage! I guess I’m a slow one! Anyway, I finally ended up buying 3 pretty cute swim suits that made me feel a lot better about myself. I even went to the swimming pool the other day! Whew! Another dilemma diverted – well, at least for the time being! J  

Pretty in Purple! I ordered some spanx swim briefs to go under this which will hold everything in nice and tight! :)

My little girl saw me getting into my swim suit and getting my picture taken, so she had to get on her Minnie Mouse swim suit and pose with me. She's such a Cutie!



I wasn't a big fan of this one on the rack, but it's one of my favorites on!



My little girl's idea -- not mine! :)

Celebrating Pioneer Day with a 10K

I ran the Deseret 10K on Pioneer Day in downtown Salt Lake City this year. There were A LOT of runners, and even though I shaved 3 minutes off my last 10K time, I actually finished further down in my division, but I'm totally fine with that. For me, it's all about improving my PR (Personal Record) and finishing 6.4 miles in under an hour makes me all smiles!!! Plus, my husband surprised me and got a hotel room at the Little America downtown the night before the race. That meant only a 4 am wake up time instead of a 3 am wake up time! So, we got to spend the evening before eating pasta and swimming in the hotel pool. Lots of fun!!!

The actual run was pretty hot and muggy, and I was really struggling that last half mile, but that's when I saw my family cheering me on. It felt so amazing to see them there. I still can't believe they dragged their kids out of bed at 5 in the morning, drove all the way downtown, and sat in the hot sun (and rain) to watch me run by for 30 seconds. I have the best family in the whole world. I love them sooooo much!!!  

This was my last race before I run my first half marathon in a couple weeks. And even though I doubt I'll finish with my usual 10 minute mile, I'm hopeful I'll finish in a respectable time! Well... actually... I forgot about my stupid hip. Grrrrr! I did something weird to my hip doing belly dancing a couple days ago, and even after taking a few days off, it hurt really bad on my run this morning. I have to try to figure out to get it healed up before next Saturday or else I'll be walking my first marathon... :(   

Earning My First Racing Medal

Last Saturday I ran my first 10K race. I chose the Utah Valley Marathon because I heard it was a fast, easy course. It didn't disappoint! This was my favorite race by far. I'd prefer 6 miles over 3 miles any day, and the weather was actually perfect. I started out conservatively at a 11:30 to 12:00 pace, but soon realized I could push it a lot harder. I crossed the finish line at an 8:00 pace which averaged out at a 10:00 pace. The only stupid thing I did was not knowing that the race was actually 6.4 miles long and not just 6 miles, so when my watch showed 5:90 miles I started sprinting towards the finish... I've trained sprinting for 1/10 of a mile, but not for half of a mile! I couldn't slow down though with thousands of people cheering me on, so I finished at an amazing time - just over an hour! The only problem is that now, three days later, I still can't walk!!!

But it's all good, and I'd do it all again. And finishing 6th out of 41 in my division for my very first 10K race isn't too shabby. I'm already looking forward to my next race (that is if I can ever walk again...) I'm just trying to decide if I should do another 10K or if I'm ready for a half-marathon. This whole running thing is kind of crazy, but it feels good to be apart of it. I just have to be careful and not train too hard at this point. I already have Paroneal Faciitus which is basically tendinitis in my foot. I've been able to keep going with the use of KT Tape, but if I push it too much too fast it'll turn into a stress fracture and then my running season would come to an abrupt halt! I'm trying to be smart though. I just spent $200 on new running shoes and inserts and they seem to be helping. I guess we'll just have to see where this journey takes me...

Me at the starting line in my new race day outfit I bought. Cute, huh? :)

My little trooper! It's not fun to have to wake up a 2 year old at 5 o'clock in the morning, and even worse when she throws up right before the race starts! 

Poor little Char was so sick, but she hung in there and was even ringing her bell when Mom came across the finish line!

Woohoo! My first racing medal! Yes, it's just a finisher's medal, but I could care less!

The beginning and ending of my race - just look for the hot girl wearing a pink tank and braids!!! :)

I Be Rock'n that Goal "Date"!!!

My One Year Mark. Hip hip hooray!!!

Today is the best holiday of the year - for me! One year ago today I underwent Gastric Bypass. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done, but at 300 pounds it was my last resort. I'm now 155 pounds lighter (yes, that's more than half my body weight) and couldn't be more proud of what I've accomplished. I eat healthy and workout every single day. I would still like to loose another 10-15 pounds, but trust me, I'm not complaining about where I'm at right now.

I decided a while ago that today would be my goal "Date" because I would change my goal "Weight" almost daily - depending on how fast or slow I was loosing! I've gone from a BMI of 44 down to a 23. I think I can say I'm safely out of the "obese" zone! I've lost over 105 inches total - 24 of those being in my waist alone. I've gone from a size 26 down to a size 6. I've finished three 5Ks averaging a 9 minute mile, and yesterday morning I finished a 10 mile run. Heck, yeah!!! I am freaking awesome!!! Sorry to brag, but this has in no way, shape or form been the "easy" way out. I have worked my booty off and made sacrifices I never knew I had in me.

Loosing weight sucks. It's tough. But the end results are worth every bit of it! I'm still not sure how I'm going to celebrate this special holiday - definitely not going to Chuck-a-Rama... Anyway, wish me luck as I begin the "Maintenance Phase" - breads, potatoes and fruits, Oh, my!!! Am I nervous? Extremely! After all you know what they say, "Weight Loss is Hard, but Weight Maintenance is Harder"... But, I know I can DO it, because I've already DONE it!!! 

This is the difference between being "Obese" and "Healthy".

Don't you love how the shadows accent my flab... I mean abs!!! :) Yes, I'm still hanging on to at least 10 pounds of skin, but all I can say is thank goodness for clothes!!!

This is the first time I've tried on my size 26 pants since the surgery. I'm dreamed about this picture. I was every bit as sweet as I dreamt it would be!

 

Yup, that's Me - half the Me I used to be at least!



This is a bitter-sweet number for me. I wish it were lower. I had my heart set on 150 pounds... Curse those stupid scales!!!



My little girl wanted me to take a picture of her weight too. Kind-of weird to think that if you add another 0 to that number, that's exactly where I was a year ago. But I'm so happy to know that my little girl will grow up knowing how important it is to eat healthy and exercise. She's so cute when she grabs her little 3 pound weights and tries to workout with mommy! :)

FINAL STATS
Date	Weight	Pounds Lost	BMI	Thigh (Right)	Chest	Waist	Hips	Wrist (Right)	Forearm (Right)	Bicep (Right)	Calf (Right)	Neck	Shoulders
16-May-11	300	0	44	30	55	56	56	9	13	16	18	18	55
17-May-12	155.2	164.2	23	20.75	37	31.75	37.5	6	9.3	9.5	15	12.6	40.75

Cookie Chaser - 2K and 5K

It feels like I just barely posted my last 5K, but I guess it's been over a month... So, here we go! I ran the Cookie Chaser 5K in Riverton last Saturday. It was a low budget race, but still fun. Plus, I got to run a 2K to warm up before the actual 5K which was really nice, and I only paid $25 for both of them. I've been very surprised how expensive some of these races can be. I was going to do the Thanksgiving Point 5K that day, but it was $40. That's crazy to me. That's how much I paid to register for the 10K in Provo!

Me before the start of my 2K. These spring runs can be really chilly. It warmed up pretty nice later on, but my nose was running like a faucet... not very convenient or attractive!!!

Anyway, I loved this race for one reason - my mom got to be there! She has been such a huge supporter of me, and it was fun to be able to show her how far I've come. I know she's super proud of me and that makes all the difference sometimes! My results weren't too shabby either. I finished 4th out of 12 in my age group and 61 out of 348 overall. My goal was to finish in 27 minutes, and I did it - but barely!!!

The start of the 2K. I was using this race as my warm up run, so it was really low-key and fun!!!

I learned a lot of good lessons this race though. I only have a few more weeks until the 1 year mark of my surgery, so I'm not going to lie, I've been starving myself. I should have eaten more carbs throughout the week before the race, or at least on Friday, because I definitely felt my body running on empty the last half of the race. Another lesson I learned was that I need to cut my workouts down the week before a race. Weight lifting is a HUGE No-no because my arms are legs were still very fatigued the day of the race. Not cool!

Me before the start of my 5K. Making sure my Everclear and Metallica are really to go!

So, this will probably be my last 5K this year because I'm starting to train for a 10K. My goal (don't quote me on this) is to run two 5Ks, two 10Ks, and two half-marathons this year. We'll see how it goes, but the summer is still young and I'm already up to running 6 miles. If I manage to pull this off, these races definitely won't be for speed - I can tell you that already - they're going to be all about the endurance. If I finish with a 15 min/mile average, I'm gonna be dang proud of that!!!

The most awesome, most beautiful, most supportive mom in the whole world... and me!!! :)



The New and Improved ME!!!

So, here it is. The post you've all been waiting for... the new, made over ME!!!

The finished project!!! New hair, makeup, clothes, shoes and jewelry!!!

I can't say enough how glad I am that I won this makeover. Not only was it incredibly fun, but I learned a lot about myself in the process. The makeover started at Victoria's Secret where I got two new bras (push-ups, of course) and very sexy! I was pleased to find out that I was still a 36D because after being triple that, I have been feeling anything but well-endowed! Then I got to go to Macey's department store (no, my sweet little niece, not the grocery store) where I had a personal shopping consultant, Eugena, pick me out a perfect, little black dress complete with a jacket and a $100 pair of shoes! Yikes!

Even though I loved the finished outcome, I also learned that even though I was trying on size 6 clothes and not size 26 clothes, I still don't LOVE shopping. I know crazy, huh? I also learned that I am not a brand-name kind of girl... aka - I'm cheap! Even when I wasn't spending my own money, I was shocked over the cost of things. Eugena kept telling me to choose quality over quantity. Hmm... she has obviously never had to stick to a budget! I also don't like getting waited on - let me get my own pair of shoes! Oh well, I guess there are worse things in life than not being a Diva, right? :)

The second part of the makeover was hair and makeup. My stylist's name was Kenzie and she was a sweetheart. She gave me a hip, new hair color and style, and even though I tend to like me better in dark hair, I actually really liked it. Plus, it's super easy maintenace which is perfect for a low-maintenance gal like myself! Seeing I haven't cut or colored my hair since my surgery, this was a much needed upgrade!!! The makeup was fun too because I learned a lot of really cool things. Now I just have to remember how to do them...

My stylist Kenzie working her magic.

The third part of the makeover was the "Reveal". Nervous? Extremely! Especially because we only found out we had to speak a few hours before the event! It turned out to be just fine though, and was even kind of fun. My old pagaent days kicked in and I actually felt very comfortable in my own skin and speaking in front of 100 people! Check out the videos!!!

What a fun night! My husband Chad even won a nice watch and a movie gift card! But, I have to mention this part too just because I always want to be honest with myself and anyone else who is going through this extremely difficult weight-loss process. After everything was over, and all that was left was me and my thoughts, all I could think of was how heavy I still looked as I browsed through the pictures and video of the evening. I had felt so pretty and special and yet all I could think of was how I needed to loose 20 more pounds!

It was a reality check to me that self-confidence, self-esteem, contentment and happiness still need to come from the inside out, and I'm obviously not there yet. I've pretty much been at the same weight now for several months, so I need to start accepting where I am at now and be happy and grateful for everything I've accomplished. I've lost over 140 pounds in under a year. I truly have worked my butt off!!! Diet and exercise really is the key to weight loss, but it is DANG hard!!! I have made so many sacrifices over the last year, and even though I still have a stomach "pouch" and enough extra skin to make my very own Frankenstein, I'm going to run, jump, hike, snowboard, dance and play with my little girl until I learn to love myself inside and out!!! Afterall, it's not about what number is on the scale, but the number of times you don't have to miss out on life because you're too heavy - and I already have dozens and dozens of those. So, I consider my weight-loss journey thus far a complete and total SUCCESS!!! Hurray for me!!!

Me with my short, shrimpy surgeon, Dr. Smith.

Me and my fellow makeover winners, Debbie and Linda. Between the 3 of us we've lost over 500 pounds!!!

Our "Makeover" Crew!!!

Had to include this picture because Charlotte was too funny. She had to be in all the pictures and would pose just like her Mommy!!!

Another 5K Under My Belt!!!

Last Saturday I ran my second 5K at Riverton City's event Run4Life. Even though the wind was definitely an obstacle, I was still able to shave 7 minutes off my time since my last 5K in October. I crossed the finish line at 29 minutes and couldn't be happier! My goal is to run 6 races this year, so I only have 5 left and I'm already registered for another one at the end of April. I hope to be running an 8 minute mile by the time I run my last 5K in October.

My husband bought me a sweet running watch for my birthday that tracks my time, distance, mph, route and even more! It's going to help me make my training a lot more productive. Who knows... maybe someday I'll even run a marathon!!!

It started out a very cold, windy day, but by the end of my run I was anything but chilly!!!

Hurray for runner #716. Hey, that's me!!!

A Birthday Makeover for Me!!!

My birthday is going to rock this year! Why? Because my surgeon's office called me this afternoon and told me I won a MAKEOVER that just happens to be on my birthday!!! I get to go shopping at Macy's, get my hair cut and colored, and get my makeup done too. In order to be considered for the makeover you had to submit a one-page essay along with before and after pictures. My entry and photos are below if you want to see them. I'm still reeling a little bit. I can't believe I actually won! On a side note, I'm running another 5K tomorrow so wish me luck. I'll be sure to post how awesome I'm going to do!!! :):):)

Celebrating Me

I’m sure I am not unlike other Weight Loss Surgery patients who have struggled with obesity their entire lives (except that maybe my birthday happens to be April 11th - hint, hint!) I had plenty of excuses – genetics, medication, depression, inactivity and, of course, FOOD, but the loosing/gaining weight loss cycle was cruel and always left me more bitter, resentful and hopeless in the end. So what was it that made me finally decide I had to stop that vicious, unforgiving cycle?

Flash back to fall of 2010, I was on an extended family vacation in Florida and we were at Busch Gardens. I was looking forward to this day more than any other on the vacation because I love, love, love roller coasters! First roller coaster – it took 3 attendants to push on the safety harness before it finally latched, but I made it. Whew! Close call! Second roller coaster – made it again, but couldn’t breathe! Third roller coaster – never made it… I was too big. I had to be asked to get off in front of my entire family. Embarrassed, mortified, hurt, angry are just a few emotions I experienced as I took my walk of shame down the exit ramp. Crumbling into a ball of tears, not caring what people thought of me, I made a vow with myself that day to do something about my weight – for good!!! I was referred to RMAP soon after I got home and my WLS journey began.

Of course there have been bumps along the road, and the journey has been excruciatingly difficult both physically and mentally, but I’d do it all over again and again to be where I’m at today. Not only am I conscience now about what I put into my body, I am more active than I have ever been my entire life. Every morning at 5:00 AM sharp, I’m at the gym running, weight lifting or doing circuit training. It was just a few weeks ago that I tried a Spin class for the first time. Long story short, the instructor came up to me after class and said, “Wow! If you wouldn't have told me it was your first time, I would have never known. I can tell you are a very active, fit person." As my eyes filled with tears, I thanked her and smiled. There is no way she could have known how much such a comment meant to me. She couldn’t have known that a little under a year ago I weighed over 300 pounds and couldn’t even have walked to the end of my street!

I feel one of the biggest lessons that I have taken from this journey is that I can choose what is best for me and my body. I ran my first 5K at the Walk From Obesity Event last October, and when my legs and lungs were telling me I couldn’t go any farther, my heart and soul were telling me that I could - and I not only finished the 5K, but finished almost 10 minutes faster than my goal! Now six months later, I’ll go outside and run 3 – 5 miles on top of my other workouts just for fun!!!

I’m so proud to say that I have taken this opportunity by storm and made every second count. I feel so empowered and love how it feels to finally be in control of my life. Dr. Smith and RMAP, I thank you, my husband thanks you, and my little girl thanks you so much for giving me my life back. Now I’m ready to show everyone on the outside how fabulous I feel on the inside. I’m in desperate need of some sprucing up, and did I mention April 11th is my birthday!!!

 

 

I know, I know I was a little shameless in pushing the whole birthday thing... but, hey, it worked, didn't it?!?! And don't worry, I'll be sure to take lots of video and pictures at the reveal and post them here. Luvs.

Staying Strong to the Finish Line!!!

I have less than 2 months left before the one year anniversary of my surgery. I have really been struggling lately with following the rules and have gotten myself into a really bad slump. The good news is that I went to my support group last night and found out that I'm not alone which always makes you feel a little better, right? The counselor came right out and asked me if I was ready to level off and start Maintenance without having reached my goal weight. I hesitated a little, I'm not going to lie, but when I really thought about it, No, I'm not going to be happy with myself for stopping so close to my goal. If I don't do it now, what are the chances I will ever do it?

So, I'm re-committing to reaching my goal weight. I'm going back to 3 small meals a day and nothing passes my lips that isn't a protein or vegetable. I'm hoping that if I stick to this plan I'll be able to be back in ketosis again in 3 - 4 days. If I keep up the exercise routine I've been doing, there isn't any reason why I shouldn't be able to get the rest of my weight off in time. So, I'm making myself accountable. On May 17th, exactly 56 days from now, I'm going to step on the scale and be at my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's going to be tough, but I'm tougher! Especially when I look at what I've been able to accomplish so far. So, wish me luck - I'm sprinting to the finish line!!!

I know this picture is kind of creepy, but it was a good visual for me to see the difference between a 250 pound woman and a 150 pound woman. I feel so bad for making my body carry around all that extra fat for so long. It's amazing all the places your body can store fat. I'm so close to being that 150 pound woman and putting that 250 pound woman far behind me! I can do it!

Words of Encouragement

This post will be quick, but I have to share a special moment - to me at least! I work out every morning at 5 AM at the gym, and this past Tuesday I decided to try something different and do Spinnning. I told the instructor it was my first time. She showed me how to use the bike and then told me not to get discouraged and that it would take 3 to 4 times for me to get comfortable with the workout. Well... I did the workout and honestly felt great - I probably could have pushed harder! The instructor came up to me after the class and said, "Wow! If you wouldn't have told me it was your first time, I would have never known. I can tell you are a very active, fit person". I had to smile a little bit because if she had only known me 9 months ago - this conversation would have gone very differently!!! My eyes are actually tearing up as I type because moments like this truly mean more to me than I can say. I have had setbacks, and I haven't been 100% perfect all the time, but I have worked so, so, so very hard to get to where I am at. I am so grateful for my life right now, and this amazing opportunity I have had to transform my life.

Surviving of the Holidays... Yikes!!!

Forgive me for I have sinned... or not updated my weight-loss blog in almost two months at least! My bad! I probably should have too because the holidays were extremely hard on me. I was surprised how much I associated Christmas with food. I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas without snuggling up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, or having some fudge or divinity. I wish I could say I a perfect angel, but it's just not true. I chewed and spit - A LOT! And even though I'd like to think I didn't actually swallow anything with sugar in it - I know it just wasn't so - especially since I only lost 5 pounds in December. Scary, huh?

The good news is that I have been a perfect angel since the new year, and the weight has started to come off again. And I'm sure it hasn't hurt that I'm been working out every morning at 5 AM with my father-in-law and brother-in-law. We do weight lifting, step aerobics, circuit training, and Zumba. I've never been so sore in my entire life... the muscle fatigue, headaches, body aches, and lack of sleep have really taken a toll on my body. Yesterday I think I hit the wall because I felt like my head had been split down the middle with an axe and I was so light-headed and dizzy that I honestly couldn't function. Thank goodness for a very supportive husband who took very good care of me. And thanks too for my awesome father-in-law and bro-in-law who have, more than once, been the only reason I got my butt out of bed some mornings.

I also had another follow-up visit with my surgeon, Dr. Smith, this past Monday. It went good, I guess. Dr. Smith told me that he doubts I'll loose a lot more weight at this point - and that is not what I wanted to hear, of course! He told me that the minimum weight he wants to see me at 150 pounds. Really? Really? I had my heart set on 130 pounds, then I could fluctuate between 130 - 140 pounds (because 140 is my "actual" goal weight) but I know that I'm bound to fluctuate at least 10 pounds here and there because of my menstrual cycle, holidays, vacations, etc. But, I guess what it will really come down to is where my weight will be in the next 4 months. That will be my 1 year mark, and I have psyched myself up so much for that mark that emotionally I don't know if I can push any further past that - no matter where my weight ends up.

I actually have had one concern lately that Dr. Smith was able to put to rest though. I have completely blacked-out several times now - like - hit the floor and been out for several seconds kind of black-outs. I even went into my primary care physicians a couple weeks ago and had some lab work done just to make sure my iron, folic acid, etc. levels were alright. They were perfect - thank goodness. But, Dr. Smith said that what is happening is that because I've lost so much weight so fast, my mind hasn't caught up yet. When I was heavier, every time I stood up, my body had to force tons of blood into my legs so I could actually move, for example. Well now, my body doesn't need that anymore, but my brain still thinks it has to push all that blood to my legs, thus depriving my brain of the blood that it needs. Hence, why I get so light-headed and dizzy all the time. He told me it could take up to a year for my body to level itself out, so just to make sure I always stand up slow and hang on to something or someone. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, I really should take more "After" pictures, but I rarely think about it. The weight that I'm loosing now just doesn't have much of a dramatic appeal on my appearance like it used to, but here are some photos taken from this Christmas compared to some taken a couple years ago. Enjoy - I sure do! :)