6 Month Anniversary - The Best One Yet!!!

Wow! It's been six months! I can hardly believe it! Sometimes it feels like it's been an eternity while at other times it feels like I just had my bypass yesterday. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I'm down another 10 pounds since last month (a total of 120 pounds), but the bad news is that the weight is coming off slower and slower, and my resolve at times is pathetic at best. I'm feeling so great that sometimes I get in the mind set that I'm happy where I'm at, and I don't need to loose anymore weight. I know I'll regret that decision in the long run though, so I'm still plugging along. Ideally I have 50 pounds left to loose, and I have 6 months left to do it. Possible? Absolutely! - if I can just get it in my head that I'm worth the sacrifice it's going to take to get there. The fact that I hardly ever get sick anymore makes it harder to resist eating more than I know I need. I really do enjoy working out when I have the time, and I'm starting to see some muscle definition in my arms and legs that I am loving! I've worked so hard for this... I CAN'T QUIT NOW!!!

Now it's time for some stats. That will make me feel better! :)

MAY 17th, 2011 (Surgery Day)	NOV 17th, 2011 (6 Months Later)
Weight: 300	Weight: 179
BMI: 44	BMI: 27
Pant Size: 26	Pant Size: 14
Shirt Size: 3X	Shirt Size: Large
Ring Size: 11	Ring Size: 9
Total Inches Lost: 66.5

How about seeing some before and after pictures?!?!

Just a little difference, no? :)

Same swimsuit...different body!!!

Despite all the bumps along the road, I truly am so happy with my progress. I love the way I feel and look in clothes, I love the way my husband looks at me now, and I love the way I can play with my little girl without getting breathless and winded. I am looking forward to what another 50 pounds gone will look like on my body, and I'm still hopeful that my skin will snap back into place. I guess only time will tell... Later!

5 Months = 5K!!!

Me happy and pumped before the race. My husband said it was cheating to get my picture at the Finish Line before I finished, but I knew I wouldn't get a chance later!

Me and my favorite little Munchkin. She got up super early to cheer on her Mama!

So, today was a cause for Celebration! Not only am I five months out post-surgery and down 110 pounds, but today I ran my first 5K. I've been training for several months now, and it paid off because I did great and felt fantastic! My goal was to just finish the race in 45 minutes, but I crossed the Finish Line at 36:29!!! Whew, what a relief - I didn't come in last! In fact, I finished 4th in my division. Just a spot short of getting a medal :(

I still feel like a winner though because this is a huge accomplishment for me. Five months ago I couldn't have walked a 5K let alone run the whole thing and still finish smiling! While I was training and miserable, I kept telling myself that this would be my first and last race, but now.... you could probably talk me into it!!! :) I'm definitely not a "typical" runner and I doubt I'll ever run a race longer than this (I just love my knees too much) but at least now I can say I am a "competitive" runner! ;)



And I'm off! Just another face in the crowd, but it was very personal accomplishment!



Me coming up the last stretch on the Jordan River Parkway. It was actually a very pretty run.

Kicking it into high gear for the last 100 yards! Go me!

Feeling really good now. Just passed my family with my little girl yelling, "Go, go, go"!!!

Just seconds before I crossed the Finish Line. Yahooooo!!!

I finished!!! Big hugs from my super-awesome sister, Brandi, who came to support me so early in the morning!

Yup, me and my cleavage! We made it together! Or should I say I made it in despite of my cleavage!!! :D

Two thumbs up for me!!! Yiiiiipppppeeeee!!!

My Life Now - 100 Pounds Lighter!!!

So, this post is a week and a half later than I was hoping, but today I got on the scale and weighed 200 pounds! That's 100 pounds gone!!! Wow. I can't believe how much being 100 pounds lighter has changed my life. This last plateau was really rough on me because I was so, so close to that 100 pound mark, but slowly, very slowly it finally came off.

I love how much more active I am now. Last night I ran 4 miles in under an hour - it darn near killed me - but I did it! I'm even loving the little things though like being able to get up and dance with my little girl, mowing the lawn, or even being able to clean the bathroom without working up a sweat! I also am tempted very little when it comes to sweets. I can say "No"  to a donut and not think about it again. It's great. I still get cravings - what I wouldn't give for a warm roll or a baked potato - and I am guilty of licking ranch Doritos from time to time, but overall I feel like I am finally in control of my life!

I am running my first 5K in a few weeks, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I'm afraid I'm going to come in last place and embarrass myself... I guess we'll just have to see, huh? :) I still have 75 pounds to loose, but I have 8 months to do it in, so here's to hoping!!! In the meantime I'm going to enjoy being a size 16 instead of a 26, and do a little dance every time I get on the scale. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get to this point - especially my Mommers who is my biggest supporter of all!!!

Just a Little Setback, Right?

So... I have some spare time on my hands here at work so I thought I'd share a little minor disappointment. I gained weight for the first time since my surgery. :( Yeah, it was a huge bummer, but I'm trying to stay positive because I am still loosing inches. Plus, I have been really focusing on weight lifting, so there is a good possibility it could be muscle weight. I'm hopeful. Basically, I have 15 days to loose 10 pounds to reach my goal weight loss of 100 pounds on my 4 month mark. Is is possible? Sure, I've lost that much and more before, but with this weight gain thing going on???

A good experience that I just had was that I was browsing through FB the other day and saw some pre-surgery pictures of myself, and WOW!!! - I could sure tell a difference. It makes me wonder just how much I need to, or even want to, loose. The whole catalyst for getting WLS in the first place was so that I could have a healthier pregnancy, and with my little girl coming up on 2 years old, the thought has definitely crossed my mind. But, I'm just thinking out loud now. Hopefully my next post will super awesome because I'll be down 100 pounds at 4 months. Wish me luck!!!

3 Months - 80 Pounds!!!

I actually enjoyed weighing myself lately! Two days ago was my 3 month mark and I am down 80 pounds! How cool is that?!?! My goal is to loose another 20 pounds this month. I've gone from a size 26 pant to a size 18. Not too shabby!

I am going through some pretty rough times right now, so I have found myself wanting to turn to food for comfort, and yes, I have given in and either eaten more than my 2 ounces or done a little grazing after my meal at nights. Luckily, I've stayed in Ketosis so the weight has still been coming off. I also need to step up the exercising too because if I don't work out in the mornings, I tend to not work out at all. I have some great excuses, but when it comes down to it, there are no good excuses...

Getting a Gastric Bypass has been quite the adventure. It truly has been a roller coaster. So far it has been worth it, but I went camping last weekend and it was so hard not to just slip back into one of the fun parts of camping - eating!!! I do worry a lot about when this first 24 months is over and I can really start eating again. I am working really hard on making this a lifestyle change, so that the good eating habits and the exercising will always be a part of my life.

2 Months and Counting!!!

Whoops! I can't believe it's almost been a month since my last post. Let's just say that the only thing that stays the same in life is that everything changes! Well, today is Friday and on Sunday it will be my two month mark. This morning I stepped on the scale and weighed 240 pounds. That's 60 pounds gone!!! Today I also put on one of my size 20 pants, and they were a little loose. I was wearing a size 26 at my highest weight!!!

So, those are the good things. Now for some bad things. I had to go back on my anti-depressant. I'm taking Zoloft because it comes in a liquid form. Unfortunately, taking it is not fun. If I don't dilute it with milk or water, it burns like crazy for hours. My tongue becomes numb and I can hardly breathe. Definitely not cool, but keeping my mind stable is crucial. I'm still not being the greatest at taking my calcium. It taste so horrible, and makes me gag every time I take it, so if I take it once a day I'm pretty proud of myself. I just keep telling myself it's only 2 more months until I can swallow pills! I have also been down with a nasty chest cold which has prevented me from exercising, and that has really slowed my weight loss down. I'm going to give myself until Sunday to recuperate, but then on Monday, even if I still can't breathe, I am going to workout!

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. I have my 2 month checkup with Dr. Smith on Monday. He's an interesting guy, so we'll see how that goes... I'm still in the learning phase of this process. I'm trying to relearn how my body works now, and it can be a challenge at times. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster as the weight slows from time to time. I'm trying to stay positive and be proud of myself because this has been a lot of work!!!

The Keys to My Success!!!

I went to my nutrition class last night, and came away with a renewed energy to kick butt with this surgery. There were several other people there who had the Gastric Bypass the same day I did, and I have lost almost double what they have! It made me feel a lot better about having such a bad time last week where I only lost 1 pound. Thankfully, plateaus is one of the things that they covered last night. It shouldn't last longer than a couple weeks - let's hope!!!

I'm coming to realize that exercise is going to be the key to my success. It's going to not only help me loose the weight faster, but it actually gives me more energy and self-confidence in myself (now that I can exercise fairly vigorously without getting super nauseated). I've also been told that it will help my skin shrink better too. I'm not really too worried about that, especially at this stage, but it's always good to know.

Another secret to my success is going to be my ability to keep my body in Ketosis. When I did the Aiken's diet before I never really got very deep into Ketosis, but now I couldn't get any deeper! Bonus! Just gotta stay there!

I am really surprised at how good I am actually feeling at 1 month out. I was sure that the first 3 months were going to be hell on earth -- not that the first 2-3 weeks weren't! I've got some challenges coming up here soon... two birthday parties this week, but I shall persevere!!! I also have to get my little girl sleeping through the night because sleep is so crucial for my body to keep healing itself right now. It's time to get nasty... ;)

Soooo Hungry!!!

So, I had my 3 week follow up visit with my surgeon Dr. Smith on Monday. I was hoping for some sympathy, but what I got instead was a lecture on how food was killing me before so stop whining! When I told him how hungry I was even after I ate, he told me that the human body can live on that amount of food for years and to just think about POW victims! So, basically I'm a prisoner in my own body! Taking my supplements is still a challenge, I'm still nauseated most of the time, and I went running last night only to come home and vomit repeatedly for minutes. I have to guzzle water like crazy just to keep my stomach from growling constantly, but one of the worst things is actually smell! I feel like I'm pregnant times 20! Some smells will knock me flat on my butt. My husband bought me some roast beef last night and just smelling it made me nauseated. It is super weird, and I have no idea how long it will last...

But on the up side, I'm down 30 pounds and people are starting to notice. I don't see it yet, and I don't feel it in my clothes or anything, but it definitely gives me hope. I'm in this for the long haul, and the sooner I accept that fact, the happier I will be.

18 Days Post Op

So, I'm in an interesting place right now. My weight loss has kind of stalled at 25 pounds, so I haven't weighed myself in the last couple days because emotionally it's too traumatizing. My nausea has improved but never completely goes away. Taking my supplements is frustrating because I have to crush them all up which is disgusting and time consuming. I started work four days ago, and it actually felt good to get out of the house and be productive again. By the end of the day though, I am completely exhausted as my energy is still lacking. I'm still not in a place where I can say that I'm glad I had this surgery. I just haven't lost enough weight yet to start feeling good about myself. On the plus side though, all of my incisions have healed very nicely, and are even smaller than I thought they would be -- my hopes of being a bikini model might not be dead yet! :) I am really looking forward to getting to four weeks when I can pretty much eat anything I'd like (except for carbs and sugars, of course). My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is on Monday, so I'm hoping I'll be cleared to start lifting weights so I can really begin to exercise. Well, that's all for now. Taking one day at time and trying to envision myself 150 pounds lighter!!!

I've lost 5 of these in two weeks!!!

DAY 7 - Post Op

First off, thanks to my hubby for putting a few pictures on for me while I've been out. Secondly, DANG!!! It's day 7 after getting my Gastric Bypass, and today, I'm doing very well. But 5 or 6 days ago, this was not the case. Day 1 and 2 after surgery were HELL. And I mean HELL!!! For starters, my surgery was scheduled for 11 AM on May 17th. My husband and I got there a little before 10 AM, but I didn't go into surgery until almost 2 PM. The waiting... Sucked! Then another kink in the chain happened. The surgery was scheduled for 1 hour 15 minutes, but I was under for almost twice that. My surgeon found a nice, little fist-sized tumor on my liver, so it had to be biopsied and the results returned before they could proceed with the bypass. It was benign, so no worries there, but it made recovery twice as hard.

With the exception of feeling like I was going throw up every time I blinked, the pain wasn't too bad that first day thanks to my heavenly morphine pump. Once they took the pump away though, I've never experienced such horrifying pain. Walking was tough, but I stuck to it until I was lapping people around the hospital floor. When it came time to leave the next day; however, I couldn't go. I didn't have my pain under control and I couldn't keep my oxygen above 90 without the machine. So, I got to spend two nights at the hospital.

Some good things about my hospital stay was my visitors - sister, mom, in-laws, and my sweet little 18 month old daughter. The whole hospital scene was too much for her, and she was too scared to come to me, but just seeing her reminded me why I was doing this whole thing. My husband was also awesome. No. Beyond awesome. He stayed with me both nights with his 6'6'' frame curled up on that miserable little chair. He has been amazing. Truly amazing! And last but not least, did I mention how great the morphine pump was? =)

Some not so good things so far has been the dry-heaving. This has only happened twice luckily, and both times was when I took my medication, so I'm trying some other things to make my stomach and medicine compatible. The incision where my drain was has also been pretty tender. I can't sleep on my left side which for some reason is a huge annoyance to me right now! The absolute worst so far; however, has been the diarrhea. We were told to not expect a bowl movement for up to a few weeks, but I am having violent diarrhea up to 8 times a day! I finally got a hold of my doctor's nurse (don't get me started) and they're putting me on something to help - hopefully, because this sucks!

So, overall, this has been miserable. It really has. I'm not going to lie. I'm down almost 15 pounds this week, but it's a 15 pounds I've lost 5 times already so it doesn't have me too excited. I can't really say at this point if I'm glad I've had the surgery or not. I hate saying that, but it's true. I am being 100% faithful to the diet and the cause though, so I'm still hopeful this surgery is going to be the best thing I've ever done. Sorry, this post is so long. I should have divided it up, but I just really needed to vent. Here's to hoping!!!

Pre-Surgery Photos and Sizes

Photos taken of me the night before surgery:

Pre-Surgery Measurements:

Weight: 300 LBS

BMI: 44

Pant Size: 26

Shirt Size: 3X

Ring Size: 11

Shoe Size: 11-12

May 17, 2011 - Surgery Day!!!

It is 5-17-2011 and Kina is getting ready to go in to surgery for her gastric bypass

Waiting... waiting..... waiting...

At this point I'm a month out from my surgery, and it's killing me! I just want to just started already!!! I'm going on a little family trip this weekend, but when I get back I've decided I'm going to start the liver diet that my doctor recommended. Basically, it's just a low calorie diet that shrinks the liver and makes surgery go a little smoother. I'm also going to start my exercise program. I've decided that instead of gorging myself on food and gaining weight before the surgery, I'm going to actually loose some weight instead. Hey, that's a novel idea! =)

I would like to weigh 290 lbs on my surgery date. With my goal weight being 140 lbs, that would put my weight loss goal at an even 150 lbs. Half my weight!!! Wow, I can't even fathom that right now. I know that this surgery is going to change my life in ways I can't even imagine right now. I can't wait to get started!!!

Attending My First Support Group

I know that my last post was a downer, but I have a feeling it won't be the last either. This journey hasn't even "technically" began yet, and already it's a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I'm really excited, and then another moment I'm completely terrified!

I've been doing a lot of browsing through the online forum of my doctor's office. It's been really good to read people's success stories, but I think even more importantly I think it's been good to see people's struggles too. The last thing I want to get into my brain is that this surgery is going to be a cure-all for my weight problems. Sure, it would be great if everything goes perfect and I have no complications whatsoever, but let's be serious!!!

Last night they had a support group where my surgeon was going to be there to answer any questions, so I figured even though I haven't had the surgery yet, it would great to talk to some people who have. I bugged my mom and sister to go along with me because they, like many other people, have expressed concerns about this surgery and my health and safety. I was hoping to put their minds at ease...

I thought I was going to come away from the support group all fired up to get the surgery done, but I didn't. I didn't change my mind about having the surgery, but I think the gravity of this decision really sunk in. I wasn't surprised to hear the patients say they had difficulty swallowing, eating certain foods, or even that they still struggled with willpower; what shocked me the most was that they all seemed to suffer from some kind of emotional "trauma" - if that's the right word for it. Most of them said that they have found themselves being a lot more sharp, impatient, and just plain mean after having the surgery. When I got home I talked to my husband about it and we both agreed that dealing with emotional issues isn't something that is new to us, so knowing this might be a problem, we just have to be proactive about treating and dealing with it.

I think my mom and sister came away from the group feeling better about my decision, well, not as worried at least. I think they still think I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but becoming healthy and active is everything to me now, and I'm willing to be a little crazy in order to be happy. Being able to take care of my little girl how I want to, and having more healthy children in the future, is my biggest motivation for doing this. As I've said before, my goal is not to become a super model, or even become "bikini" worthy, I just want to be able to make my own decisions. If I want to go rock climbing, by golly I'm gonna do it! If I want to try water skiing or snow boarding, by golly I'm gonna do it! No more missing out on things because my weight says I can't!!!

The Date Has Been Set!!!

I did it. I finally setup a surgery date, and I was surprisingly calm about it. All of the concerns I had expressed in my earlier post had been addressed. No gall bladder ultrasound was required, and my surgeon waived the requirement of having to get an upper GI done. My health insurance and life insurance concerns were addressed and ended up being a non-issue, so I went ahead and did it.

Whew!!! I'm terrified, and super excited. Only 40 some-odd days to go!!!

Second Consultation - Feeling Defeated...

To start with, sorry if this post is a downer, but nobody ever said this whole surgery thing was all fun and games, right? So, after the first seminar, you are required to attend a second consultation. My husband and I were told to plan on 2-3 hours in the office for this consultation, which I was fine with because I knew I'd get to finally meet with the surgeon one-on-one. It ended up being closer to 5 hours, and 4 of those hours were just waiting! Needless to say my husband and I were not happy campers at the end of this whole thing. There were three of us (patients) in the seminar, which was basically a recap of everything we heard at the first seminar except for the cups. The woman giving the seminar brought out two, tiny 1 ounce plastic cups and told us that is all we got to eat! 2 ounces of food, 3 times a day! Think 2 sacrament cups, if that means anything to you. My husband and I were joking that for me, church would now be serving lunch! After the group seminar, our surgeon met with each of us individually. I was the last one. Waiting...waiting...waiting. It was an hour before we saw the surgeon, and he was only with us for 15 minutes max, so what he was doing with the other people, I have no idea. Just to show you how bad my attitude was, I actually said that the people in front of me needed 3 times the amount of time because they were 3 times the person! Not kidding though, these people were HUGE. They actually made me feel skinny - I guess that's a bonus! :P 

The consultation went fine with the actual surgeon, Dr. Sherman Smith. It was quick and fast, but I didn't really have a lot of questions. He said my stomach was a surgeon's dream workspace - whatever the heck that means! He said he couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be any complications, but he also said that he doubted with my current physical condition that I would have any problems at all. Needless to say, I was still feeling pretty good about the surgery when he left.

After waiting forever, again, we finally met with the woman who does the surgery scheduling, and right off the bat she said that we would have to pay for an upper GI and an ultrasound for my gall bladder. What? The $20 K doesn't cover this? Talk about bursting my bubble! I whined enough she said she'd talk to the surgeon and see if he'd sign off on the upper GI, and the gall bladder ultrasound turned out to be optional (although strongly recommended). Turns out that if the gall bladder is healthy anyway, they can't legally take it out.

So, here is the post-mortem... I did not set a surgery date - yet. I'm waiting to see if the surgeon will forgo the upper GI. If I do the surgery, I've decided to NOT get an ultrasound of my gall bladder; or in other words, I'm hanging on to it! Another concern that was brought up because of this consultation was the fact that my health insurance may try to deny claims down the road, citing that the problem resulted because of my Gastric Bypass surgery. I'm checking into this. I'm also checking to see whether or not a Gastric Bypass may prevent me from being covered by an individual health plan in the future, or see if the rates would be astronomical. And finally, checking to see how the Gastric Bypass would affect our Life Insurance, as my husband and I are looking to extend or policies.

Whew! So, let me reiterate again...research, research, research! I do not want to be broadsided by something that I did not think about. I think that's why the upper GI and gall bladder thing threw me so much because I wasn't expecting it. If I am able to get positive answers to all my concerns listed above, I'm still down for the surgery. The benefits of the surgery for me still can't be denied. Oh, and the doctor also said I probably have sleep apnea, and I just don't know about it... that's because my husband brought up my snoring, which to this day I'm still denying!!!

Some people think my rolls are cute!!! :D

First Seminar - First Step

The good news is that the seminar wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, and it was extremely helpful and informative. The seminar lasted only an hour and half, but all my questions were still answered. The seminar I attended was for the Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians. This particular center has been practicing since 1979. They offer six types of Weight Loss Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gastric Banding, Gastric Bypass Revision, Lap Band Revision, Gastric Sleeve, and the Duodenal Switch. The two I was investigating was the Gastric Bypass and the Gastric Banding.

The Gastric Banding, or Lap Band, was covered first. The surgeon said it is always recommended first because it is by far the least invasive surgery. The recovery time is usually much quicker and there are less risks of complications. But the surgeon also said right out of the gate that this is not a good choice if you're a bad snacker or have a sweet tooth because there is no malobsortive part in this procedure, and you can eat whatever "types" of food you want, good or bad. He said a good portion of their patients who receive the Lap Band will get a Gastric Bypass done within a few years because the Lap Band has not given them the results they would like. The Lap Band runs $12,980 and is an outpatient procedure. Adjustments need to be made to the band every 6-8 weeks, which are covered in the first 12 months and cost $300 each thereafter.

The Gastric Bypass, although a much more complicated surgery, quickly won me over though. Complications are fairly common, but still less likely than actually getting an ACL repaired, which surprised me. The Gastric Bypass runs a hefty price of $20,000. This particular center has a contract with St. Mark's Hospital where that amount will cover any additional complications up to $100,000. This procedure requires an overnight stay in the hospital and 2-3 weeks to make a full recovery. There are several reasons why the Gastric Bypass appealed to me. Weight loss is much quicker with the GB than with the LB. It lowers blood sugar levels and physically prevents you from overeating, or eating poorly. It forces you to eat small portions (your stomach is the size of an egg) and it takes away the feeling of being hungry. Downside? A lifetime of having to take supplements - iron, calcium, and vitamin B, but at the same time, shouldn't everybody be taking a multi-vitamin everyday anyway? :)

One concern I had was the ability and effect of the procedure on pregnancy as I still want to have another child. Good news is that being overweight is not good for pregnancy, so loosing any amount of weight is great. Also, there haven't been any problems with the fetus getting the correct amount of nutrition. It is recommended that you wait at least a year to get pregnant after the surgery, but the surgeon said he's actually had women deliver children nine months after the surgery without any complications. Another concern of mine was gall bladder infections. I have had people who have had the GB tell me that they had to have their gall bladder removed after the surgery. Dr. Smith said that he gives all his patients medication that brings the percentage of getting gall bladder disease down to 15%. He said that the gall bladder does serve a purpose so he doesn't want to remove it if it isn't necessary.

There was also a women there with her sister who had Gastric Bypass done four years ago (I don't think she was planted...) She had a leak after her procedure and had to spend a week in the hospital, but she said she wouldn't have changed her experience for the world. Of course, this office also works with insurances. Unfortunately, my insurance doesn't cover any portion of WLS, so I won't be going into that part because I don't know anything about it. I do know that using insurance can put your surgery date out several months at least, but I would also say it would be worth it to save some money! After this seminar I have two more classes I have to attend before I can schedule my surgery date. It is required that all patients meet with a Registered Dietitian and a Social Worker, which at first I was kind of bummed about, but then I realized that I would need all the help I can get! I would also recommend that your significant other, or your support system at home, go with you to this seminar. WLS has a huge impact not only on you, but your family as well. I would guess your success rate goes way down if your family isn't on board and backing you 110% through your journey! I am looking forward to my next class, and can't wait to get started! Sorry if this post is a little scatter-brained. It's 2 AM and I have to start work... :P

Do Your Research, and then Do it Again!!!

When I finally made the decision to get weight loss surgery (WLS), it was so important to me to find the right surgeon for me. I spent literally hours and hours on the Internet researching surgeons, hospitals and WLS centers. I hated the idea of having to attend a seminar, but I didn't find one office where attending a seminar was not a requirement. After weeks of searching, I still didn't feel good about any one office, and I was feeling pretty defeated. Then I realized I needed to start talking to people to who had the surgery done. Luckily I knew several people who had either the Lap Band or Gastric Bypass, so I started making phone calls.

I finally ended up calling one of my husband's cousins who had a Gastric Bypass. She had successfully lost all of her weight, but had complication after complication. Her surgeon was no longer practicing (for obvious reasons) but she had worked in a general surgeon's office and had heard really good reviews about a Dr. Sherman Smith. She didn't know where he was practicing, but I was able to find him fairly easy. He practiced out of an office called Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians, and for some reason that office never came up in any of my research. I spent a few days sifting through reviews of the office and Dr. Smith and was very pleased with what I had read. The office did half a dozen types of WLS, and had been practicing since 1979. I liked the idea of having several WLS options to choose from because the centers that only did Lap Band for example, pushed it so hard I didn't really feel like I was being lead to the surgery that would work best for me.

Needless to say, I decided to attend the seminar at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians. It was a week before I could attend the seminar, and the whole time I didn't stop researching. Before I even set foot in the office, I knew exactly what price range was reasonable, what red flags to look for, and I had a list a page long of questions that I needed answered. Let's face it - WLS is not cheap! And even though WLS is considered relatively safe, it IS still surgery, and I was not going to put my life into the hands of just anybody! Besides, what I had gleaned from talking to all the people I did was that the surgeon really was a huge factor in WLS being either a success or a failure. So, if you learn anything from this post, I hope it is research, research, research!!!

3 Strikes is Enough!!!

My weight didn't start becoming a problem for me until I was a teenager. When I was sixteen years old I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance which required me to start taking medication. I also found out I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which required me to start taking birth control. Both these medications cause weight gain, and I truly believe these medications were the catalysts that set my weight gain in motion, although I have no medical backing to confirm that, of course. 

My weight gain was slow, so it didn't really trigger any red flags for me. I am also 5 feet 9 inches tall, so I was able to hide my weight very well (and at first my weight gain went straight to my boobs - not necessarily a bad thing!!!). I lived what I would call a normal, average life. I was active and happy in high school. I was a Madrigal and Editor-in-Chief of the school newspaper. I had lots of friends and a boyfriend (who I later married). After high school graduation I went to college on an academic scholarship. I got my Bachelors degree in English, and then married my high school sweetheart. Everything was going great. My life was perfect (but always in the background, the weight just kept slowing coming).

Attempts were made at weight loss. I'd loose some; I'd gain some. It was always a vicious, vicious cycle. But then in the fall of 2009, I had a beautiful, perfect little girl, and something changed inside of me. I immediately had this mantel of responsibility for her and her well-being. I made a pact with myself to be the best mom I could possibly be for her, and that I would always be there for her no matter what. That is why my experience in the fall of 2010 was Strike 1.

In the big scheme of things it was very minor, and yet it had a huge impact on me. My husband and I had taken our little girl to a corn maze during Halloween time. The maze was on a farm and there was a petting zoo, corn cannons, and a big alluminum slide that you slid down in an old potato sack. To get to the top of the slide; however, you had to hike up a tall, steep, dirt hill. My husband went to take our little girl down the slide and asked me if I was coming, but all I could do was stare at that hill. I knew I couldn't physically do it. I was afraid I would make it half way up and then have to come down, which would be embarrassing. So, I didn't do it. No. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take my little girl down the slide. I couldn't be there for her. Strike 1.

Fast forward a few months. I'm on a family vacation in Florida. We go to Busch Gardens where they have some really fun roller coasters, and I LOVE roller coasters!!! The first roller coaster my husband and I go on. I sit down on the seat next to my husband as he pulls the latch down over his head and secures the belt. I go to pull the latch down, but it won't close. I'm too big. My husband tried to push it down from his seat, but it's a no go. Then a worker comes and tries to push it into place. Then another one comes, and then another. Finally, the three workers were able to get the latch to click into place. Whew! That was a close one. I laugh it off. Then my husband, sister, and I go to get on the second roller coaster. This time the workers couldn't get the seat locked, and one of the workers said, politely as he could, "I'm sorry, Miss, you're not going to be able to go". So, with my face red with pure humiliation and embarrassment, I had to get off and walk out of the ride alone. Not being able to go on rides with my little girl at an amusement park. Strike 2.

Strike 3 happened in the spring of 2011. I went to my OBGYN to get my IUD taken out. The appointment was uneventful until the doctor simply asked if I was getting the IUD taken out in order to have another child. To which I innocently responded with a "Yes". He then cleared his throat and very slowly said, "Oh course it is your decision in the end, but I would strongly, no adamantly, suggest that you do not get pregnant until you lose at least 50 pounds. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. This doctor had practically saved my daughter's life during delivery. I trusted him and respected his opinion. At that point I knew I couldn't knowingly get pregnant and endanger the health or life of my future child. Not being able to give my little girl a sibling. Strike 3.

So, there it is. How I struck out and let my weight win. But never again. Never again will I let my weight make my decisions for me, or prevent me from doing something I love. This is where my FINAL weight loss journey begins!!!